


Deathless

by LeafOfTrees



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cloud/ Sephiroth childhood, Eventual Dark Cloud, M/M, Possession, Sephiroth/Cloud relationship, Some Canon, Tragedy, Violence, some horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25821997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeafOfTrees/pseuds/LeafOfTrees
Summary: We are singers of the gone, the symphonic voices of the unseen, ever present in the ebb and flow of endless forms of life.We are the force of life sustaining mother Gaia.We are, we have been and have seen the birth of one and a million sideshows.We remember. . .Birth, suffering and harvest.ALTERNATE UNIVERSE:They had alway been tied together, It started in their true beginning within the great multiverse when their tragic end gave birth to many beginnings. They were always meant to meet, the tether between them a noose.Together. . . until they weren’t.Friends.Lovers....Enemies!The Planet remembers when time fractured, when it all began with two boys thrust together in the Calamities shadow.
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first FFVII story in a very, very long time. There will be some canon however it’s pretty much AU. Rating may be higher in later chapters, warnings will be issued at the beginning of each chapter.
> 
> I had this idea awhile ago, plotted and wrote chapter one, then drifted away from it. Until I stumbled across it again and decided -to hell with, I’ll upload it and begin writing more on this. 
> 
> I hope it’s to your liking.
> 
> ~~CHAPTER UPDATED! 21/08/20  
> This chapter has now been updated by my good friend and Beta Reader: KyojiroKagenuma, so a huge thanks to him for working with me on this.~~
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> Lyrics to Procession belong to Nightwish.  
> Tyger Tyger belongs to William Blake.

<https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyojiroKagenuma/pseuds/KyojiroKagenuma>

We will remember all the suffering

We wrote this in a tongue you will understand

Words and melodies with a touch of  colouring

We were there and will remember mankind.

~ Procession by  Nightwish .

————————————

We are singers of the gone, the symphonic voices of the unseen, ever present in the ebb and flow of endless forms of life.

We are the force of life sustaining mother Gaia.

We are, we have been and have seen the birth of one and a million sideshows.

We remember. . .

Birth, suffering and harvest.

~~~~~~

In a town called Nibelheim, in the shadow of Mt.Nibel, there stood a towering structure built with a certain air of grandeur, looming like a poisonous cloud at the edge of Nibelheimtown. The folk there gave it a wide berth and steered clear of any dealings there.

Shinra mansion sat still and quiet just outside the town centre. Used as a medical research centre, the mansion housed a great number of white coated scientists and medical personnel. A shame then, that no such medical care was extended to the residents of the isolated village.

No one knew exactly what went on within the confines of the Mansion, as great towering walls surrounded the building and grounds from prying eyes. The large iron gates were under constant lock and guard day and night, admittance for only those authorised personnel.

Few of the local towns folk had been privileged to glimpse the interior of the mansion, all except one married couple from the edge of town. Quiet, friendly folk. George and Claudia Strife, happily married for five years, George, tragically died in a severe snowstorm last winter leaving behind his beautiful, kind natured wife Claudia to fend for herself. The pair had struggled to conceive for some years until by fate or perhaps ill fortune the couple had earned favour with a local professor named Hojo, it seemed he took pity upon the poor couple and offered to help aid them in conceiving a child.

The scandal this caused among the locals spread quickly, as these things tend to do in small towns. The unrest the villagers felt toward Shinra in regards to their mako reactor was bad enough, but to then invade their village by building a medical and scientific research facility went beyond the pale.

For Claudia and George to accept an offer of medical aid from Shinra doctors was frowned upon to say the least. And with George’s sudden passing Claudia was left alone and with child, it came as no surprise to the townsfolk when she disappeared one day into the Shinra mansion and they never saw her again.

Suspicious whispers spread like wildfire.

In the weeks following the high peeling cries of a newborn could be heard, if one was close enough to the building. The people, so used to sudden disappearances, soon forgot about Claudia Strife, never knowing what became of the young woman. The little house the couple had owned was sold and what little possessions remained were placed in storage, on the off chance Claudia would return.

It seemed likely that Claudia, as many before her that had dealings with Shinra Electric Company, had been made to ‘disappear’ and almost certainly returned to the planet.

Four years passed by and the town gossip of the missing woman soon tapered off, her once brief presence and affiliation with Shinra mansion forgotten. An old woman sighed one day as she shuffled slowly along the beaten path toward the mountains.

Her steps were heavy, her back curved with age.

Greta was well known for her unique pieces of fine jewelleryand after a hard long winter, with heavy blizzards and arctic temperatures, it was once again time to head into the mountains in search of supplies, pretty rocks and gems unearthed beneath the melting snow.

She was caught completely by surprise as she passed the imposing mansion, when she glimpsed the forms of two children sitting beneath a large oak in the grounds. Slightly stunned, the elderly woman watched as they chatted quietly.

The smallest and youngest, she assessed had a shock of blond spiked hair, pale skin, a rounded face and the brightest blue eyes, while the taller, older boy was silver haired, locks falling to his shoulders, pale skin with sharp features and startling green eyes.

The small boy's likeness to a woman who had long ago visited her shop, suddenly struck Greta and she pondered if the boy was indeed the child of long missing Claudia Strife. Something to dwell on upon her return, she surmised as she pushed on, her wrinkled hands pulling the thick furs tighter around her frail body.

The elderly woman had long since passed the mansion, when both boys stiffened suddenly as they were confronted by irate looking, personnel in white lab coats rushing over to them, roughly the younger boy was dragged away from the other back into the confines of the mansion, the silvery haired boy threw a stony glare at the man standing before him and begrudgingly followed him back inside.

Later that evening Greta stumbled on the icy uneven path of the mountain side, her aged body frail and broken, the deepest cold seeping into her skin. She never returned from her journey and was later found by village hunters scouting the mountain side for Nibel wolves.

~~~

“How many times must you be instructed?” snapped the spectacled scientist.

Five year old Cloud wiggled unconsciously, titling his head to follow the professor’s arid movements around the laboratory. Hojo wasn’t exactly angry, irritated most likely that Cloud had yet again undermined instructions, Hojo was annoyed purely because he knew, without a doubt that Cloud had instigated today’s idea to skip lessons.

Further still, the man was well aware that Cloud’s partner in crime would not have attempted flouting instructions without Cloud’s insistent encouragement.

To be clear, what aggregated Hojo most of all was Cloud himself, a perfect second specimen born from project S in every way except his rebellious nature.

“I’ve brought your next treatment forward. There’s a guard at the door,” the professor warned, gesturing towards the exit. “I won’t tolerate your protests or any attempts to sneak away andsee Sephiroth. Is that Understood?” Hojo’s tone was serious and Cloud didn’t argue, he shuddered at the mention of treatments.

He wished for one moment Professor Gast was here. He would have understood the need for some fresh air, the need that drove him to gaze up toward the sky, he loved nothing more than titling his face and feeling the softest brush of wind sooth his skin. He would have understood Cloud’s longing for freedom. The boy scrunched his nose, he hated being shadowed by Hojo lackeys, his every hour subjected to schedules and supervision.

Perhaps it was the insufferable need Cloud often felt to be close to Sephiroth that was inevitably the cause for so many “broken rules” as Hojo put it. Was it Cloud’s fault he didn’t like being alone and sought out the other boys company at every opportunity?

“Are you still having nightmares?”

“. . . Sometimes.” Cloud answered quietly, kicking out his legs.

“Worse than before or better?” he could hear Hojo’s pen scribbling notes, probably recording Cloud’s answers and his own observations.

“The same.” A shrug.

Hojo cast the boy a skeptical look before turning to his file, his observations were showing an emerging pattern. He was hoping to test a theory with his next treatment.

“Very well, let’s begin.”

Cloud swallowed, ignoring the weight in his suddenly churning stomach. He should be used to these treatments by now, after all he’d had them frequently enough since he could recall.

~~~~~~~

His skin was burning with intensifying heat as the hours woreon, hours . . . or days? He couldn’t really remember how long it had been since the first injection or the first shower.

Through his pounding skull shot images straight from his nightmares, twisted creatures crawling along the ground reaching for him with gnarly elongated arms and clawed fingers, eyes bleeding black.

Rotting flesh falling to the ground in their wake, their grotesque forms moving with jerking, spastic motions.

Terrifying.

Shudders ran through his small frame as he remained huddled, naked because the clothes he’d worn tore at his skin. The visions in his head bled into reality, the creatures were now by his feet reaching out with harsh wet groans bubbling in their throats.

The skin covering their bony forms looked to be melting with each jerky movement, leaving dark oozing puddles as they crawled closer and closer.

Screams broke the silence and he turned his eyes to find the culprit before it suddenly dawned that they were coming from his own mouth. Above the screaming.

His screaming.

He thought he heard a gentle soothing hum. He imagined this moment was like in the story books Professor Gast read to them, a mother’s soothing murmurs quelling the child’s fears.

His eyes turned to the sky, or perhaps it was merely a ceiling. It was hard to distinguish the difference between dream and reality. He recoiled in alarm at the fiery clouds, harsh angry flames consuming the sky, a swirling maelstrom. He swore the heat consuming his shuddering body intensified as drops of ash rained down, flecks landing in his hair and coating his skin in a thin sheet.

From the shadow in the corner of his sight a blurred figure emerged, he couldn’t quite make out the features but he thought it was a grey lady, like in the ghostly tales he’d snuck from the library to read in his room.

His back arched with a sudden pain and his vision cleared of the haziness, the strange twisted haunting scene flitted away as Hojo’s face came into focus, peering down at him quizzically.

“How interesting,” murmured the scientist.

Cloud groaned as his vision blurred again but he could hear clear enough when Hojo instructed two assistants to escort him back to his room, with orders to hook him up to IV to replenish his fluids.

He faded from consciousness after that and prayed for a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~~

The poor boy was too high on the mako to squirm out of their grip as the tallest of the two assistants lifted his limp from as gently as possible, covering his nakedness with a thin blanket. They knew all too well how sensitive his skin would be to the slightest touch, he shuddered against Eckles’ chest as the man cradled his small form.

Sharing a look with his companion, a fellow assistant, Knox, they quickly and carefully exited Hojo’s laboratory, or torture chamber, whichever way one chose to view it. Both men had worked here since before the arrival of subject S, therefore they were hardened to the kind of treatments Hojo insisted the ‘subjects’ were to undergo.

Still, things hadn’t been so brutal under the leadership of Professor Gast. He had been a kindly man without Hojo’scruelties and ‘in the name of science’ attitude.

“Sometimes…” Knox looked around nervously “Sometimes I wish I had the power to stop this, it’s not fair.” His eyes fell to the quivering boy. “They’re just children, innocent kids…”

Eckles hissed a breath, “Quiet, there’s Turks here remember?”Genuine fear laced his voice, Turks were sneaky bastards and if ordered to would not hesitate to kill.

Knox pushed the door open leading into the main foyer. The mansion was split into two sides for each child. Subject S’s quarters were housed on the east side of the building, and the younger boy was housed in the west. Contact between both subjects was allowed though often monitored and coordinated through their daily schedules for development purposes.

Professor Gast has been insistent to follow a route of natural child development by schooling the boy’s together, certain training sessions were also allocated though as both remained at different levels of strength and skill they also had lessons separately. Hojo had reluctantly allowed contact between subjects S and C to continue providing it didn’t interfere with their progress.

Little did Hojo realise the exact amount of contact both subjects shared, nor did he understand the bond of friendship that had blossomed between them, there were few interventions the assistants were able to offer these children, who underwent Hojo’s rigorous and excruciating treatment on a daily basis.

So they turned a blind eye to the fact that the boys took to sneaking time together, without the watchful eyes of Hojo or his second in command, Daley. As Eckles and Knox crossed the staircase landing they headed down the west hallway, to the door at the very end of the corridor and entered the child’s room. They pretended not to notice the silver haired boy partially hidden between the bookcase and the overstuffed armchair in the corner.

Eckles gently placed the mumbling child into his bed, tucking him in carefully before quickly hooking him up to the IV, he mentioned for Knox to follow him out, allowing the silver haired boy a few hours to comfort his friend before they returned to examine his recovery.

~~~~~~

“Tyger Tyger burning bright, in the forests of the night. What immortal hand or eye, dare frame thy fearful symmetry?” His voice was soft, low against his friends' fitful whimpers as he attempted to sooth the night terrors consuming him.

Sephiroth chose a book at random from the small bookcase in the corner, just something to read aloud, to keep the silence at bay and sooth Cloud as he recovered from Hojo’s latest treatment.

The blond boy was his friend, his only friend in fact, in a world surrounded by scientists and Shinra personnel.

Each was the only source of comfort the other had.

He continued to read the words on the open page, uncaring of the context of the works so long as his voice brought comfort to the boy at his side. If Cloud had suffered any other treatment beside a mako shower the silver haired boy would have climbed in at his side and embraced his trembling form.

“In what distant deeps or skies. Burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire?

What the hand, dare seize the fire?” He found himself enjoying the poem, the words flowing from his lips effortlessly, speaking softly and clearly he soon became lost within the words and images they inspired, only to jump in surprise when Cloud made a sudden, startling groan.

“. . .Seph?” his voice weak, raw from the screaming as his bleary blue eyes squinted open and fixed upon the silver haired boy.

Relief flooded the depth of his deep blue eyes.

“I’m here Cloud,” assured the taller boy, to the outsider his face and tone appeared cold, devoid of emotion.

Cloud knew better, able to read his friends responses with ease. The concern shining within his vivid green eyes told Cloud all he needed to know. He was finally back in his room, he had survived another of Hojo’s torturous treatments. It was over and he was safe, for now and comforted by Sephiroth’spresence at his bedside.

Sephiroth placed the book aside, with the intention to borrow the volume for further reading. He returned his focus to Cloud and frowned watching the blond struggle to lift himself into a sitting position.

“You need to rest Cloud, lie back down.”

A stubborn shake of the head, “I feel better already.”

Not a lie, as he always felt better beside his friend. It was not a feeling he found strange, it had been this way between them from his very first memory.

Like a moth to a flame.

‘Like calls to like’ he felt the words rather than heard them, a strange bone deep echo. He cleared his thoughts with a shake of his head and focused on Sephiroth.

A small smile curving his lips, as he mustered the strength through pure stubbornness to sit upright.

Narrowed eyes met his exhausted gaze. ”Rest Cloud, I’ll be here when you wake.”

He settled back down, eyes drifting closed. Sephiroth picked the book back up and continued to read aloud. He remembered all the occasions Professor Gast would sit by his own bedside and read whatever resources were available just to comfort him with a familiar voice.

It was these precious memories of his life before Gast'ssudden departure that had inspired him to offer the same courtesy to the blond boy, for if his proximity and voice alone could offer even the smallest comfort through the painful haze, it was a mercy.

Cloud mumbled incoherently, his brows furrowing. The boy was prone to night terrors, especially following treatments. They usually lasted a few weeks after and would eventually taper off.

At least Cloud assured him they ceased recurring in the weeks following treatments. 

Sephiroth caressed his forehead, gently running his thumb over the scrunched up skin. While murmuring soothing words, Cloud relaxed after a few minutes, his face smoothing. A sigh slipped past his lips.

“. . . Seph . . . Thanks,” Cloud murmured sleepily with a slight smile.

“Anytime Cloud. We’re in this together . . . right?”

A stiff nod followed.

”Together.”

“Go back to sleep, I’m not going anywhere,” promised the older boy, patting Cloud's arm gently.

“O-Kay,” yawned the blond.

Sephiroth watched him drift in and out of a fitful sleep. As the hours ticked away he found himself drowsy with sleep, he knew he should leave for his own room but as he stood from his seat, green eyes lingering on Cloud. He knew he couldn’t leave him alone right now.

He settled back into the chair, resting his head on the edge of the mattress. Clouds spiky hair tickled his forehead and he batted it away, before sleep also claimed him.

~~~~~~

Professor Hojo sat back in his chair, his dark eyes scanning the security footage from Subject C’s quarters. A greasy smile spread across his face. Of course he was aware of exactly how much contact both subjects had with one another outside of scheduled hours.

It was his business to know everything about his boys. He excused Eckles and Knox’s slight of not informing Hojo of the developing bond between the boys, purely on the grounds that both assistants were two of his best, most able bodied and less idiotic than most that surrounded him.

He was also quite intrigued with the almost familial bond between the subjects. Satisfied such contact wasn’t impeding their development, it was interesting to note the draw each child felt toward the other.

Causing Hojo to ponder, could this be put down to natural social development?

Or something else?

Was there more to this connection, perhaps as a direct result of cellular manipulation?

“Hmmm.”

He drummed his fingers idly, eyes glued to the image of Sephiroth resting his head beside the blond haired boy.

Only time and further observations would guarantee the answers he sought.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: some violence and light description of blood and gore. 
> 
> Sephiroth has a nightmare and recalls his first meeting with baby Cloud. The Boys have a sparring match and Cloud is unhappy and feels like the mansion is their prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for al the hits, Kudos and bookmarks. I really appreciate it and hope you enjoy chapter two. It a little longer this time, I had it mostly written so it just needed to heavy editing and reworking.
> 
> Again; apologies for any errors, I haven’t had this Beta read.

**Chapter Two**

  
  


He was dreaming again, of inky tendrils of darkness swallowing his small frame as he faced the slick, cold tunnels of the carnivorous stone void deep within Mt. Nibel, this was a test set by Hojo and Daley. He was instructed to fight his way through hordes of snarling, vicious beasts, equipped with a Katana and basic Materia; fire, ice, lightning and cure, his objective was to reach the rendezvous point before his forty eight hour window was up. Truthfully terror licked along his spine in those first few hours, the darkness cooling like thick black oil, he struggled to see at first and took to bracing his hands along the jagged, sharp stone walls. 

The deep chill bone deep as he slunk forward blindly through the tunnels, ripping snarls and the scrapping of sharp claws echoing all around him. He refused to yield to such fears, and eventually he was met with arid breath fanning the back of his neck, the reek of carrion breath hit his nostrils as deep growls rumbled from behind.

That first strike of sharpened claws shredded the sleeve of his jacket, a hiss escaped his lips as long angry gashes bloomed in his pale skin.It had driven them wild, those precious drops of his lifeblood, A red haze clouded his vision as he rushed forward and striking the beast with a spell to stun it before he leapt and struck with his blade, applying as much strength as he could to render the creature lifeless, blood spraying his face, he twisted again sensing another creature lunging forward disturbing the stillness.

He might as well have been bathing in their foul stinking blood, as he continued to battle creature after creature that longed for him, he could taste their foul blood in his mouth, feel the warmth running down his chin. He emptied the contents of his stomach as his eyes adjusted to the dark, his kills had not been clean. The experience had left him feeling shaky and slightly feral…

Breathing rapidly he strode through the inky dark, He’d lost something of himself within those cold damp tunnels, leaving an alien weight in his chest. He could feel a piece of himself chip away with each monster he tore limb from limb.

But of course, when he finally reached the mouth of the cave, passing through the gaping opening into sunlight, he’d felt powerful, he had done it, fought his way through every foul beast in his path. 

And most importantly survived.

he’d passed their test in less than a day. pushed through the dark, cut his way through terrifying creature after terrifying creature and triumphed.

Hojo and Daley had been especially pleased when he emerged caked in dirt and blood, his breathing ragged as he fought to clear his mind of the frenzy possessing him in those moments, he had feared the monsters at first, creatures that viciously sought him out with snarling, gaping maws, happy and eager to tear the flesh from his bones.

Within hours of cutting them down he’d slowly begun to realise something, the monsters were beginning to tremble in his presence as he hungered to find the exit...his fear leeching away into a frenzied lust to survive. 

The hours passed at a snail's pace and Sephiroth had forced himself to stay awake by reading a book, his eyes were beginning to sting and water but excitement bubbled in his chest when he realised the mansion was silent, quietly he crept across his floor avoiding the creaky boards and carefully opened the door to peek along the hall.

The hallway was dimly lit and empty. He could hear no noise to indicate any staff might be awake. As he slipped out of his room and passed another door the soft snores of sleeping staff could be heard.

His steps were light as he crossed the top of the stairwell and entered the opposing hallway, swiftly and silently, he reached the door at the end in no time at all, giving a light knock and praying it was Hanna that answered.

“Come inside.” Hanna’s quiet voice called.

He entered to see the woman cradling a small bundle, her smile soothing as she gestured for him to come closer, Hanna took a seat in the nearby chair watching the silver haired boy approach slowly.

Sephiroth stared in wonder, having never seen a person so small before, everyone here was bigger than him, except for the village children, he suddenly felt like a giant next to the small boy in Hanna’s arms.

The baby’s eyes were tightly closed, his cheeks were chubby and upon his mostly bare head, Sephiroth glimpsed a tuft of golden hair. The baby’s little fists were scrunched tightly against his chest, until those tiny arms would flail about suddenly, as if something had startled him.

“Why does he do that?”inquired the silver haired boy.

“I think he’s dreaming.” Said Hanna softly lowering her arms as Sephiroth crept closer, green eyes alight, a small smile stretching across his lips.

Hanna was surprised, she had never seen such emotion displayed on the young boy's face. He was usually very impassive. 

The baby’s limbs twitched again, this time both his arms and legs kicked out and Sephiroth laughed, causing Hanna to marvel at the child; she had never heard him laugh before either.

“He’s funny...what’s his name?”

Hanna grinned “it’s a strange name, takes a while to get used to...I believe his mother insisted on naming him minutes before she…”she trailed off sadly, 

“Before she died you mean? It’s okay...I know all about death…”he trailed off noting her uneasy expression and fell silent looking at his feet, he knew many things children his age weren’t usually taught. 

His education and training was extensive. 

Hanna shook her head lightly “his name is Cloud.” She said finally as the babe wriggled in her arms, his little lips pursing, a frown creasing his brow.

Sephiroth repeated the name a few times, he liked how it sounded, but it was a funny name.

He peered down at Cloud's tiny face just as the most vibrant blue eyes fluttered open.

Blue eyes met green and Sephiroth smiled.

“Hello Cloud.”

*****

Sephiroth’s green eyes swept across the room to the bed across from his own, Cloud slept soundly, his mouth hanging open and gentle snores filling the silence. Hojo had decided to room them together after realising they both would only sneak across the hall to see the other anyway.

Cloud especially had a penchant for disobeying Hojo’s rules, he hated being caged within the confines of the mansion and had detested being kept in the opposite wing of the building.

He was likely just as lonely as Sephiroth.

The silver haired boy blinked sleepily, returning to his bed and casting his eyes back to the ceiling, tomorrow they had yet more training so rest was certainly needed.

——

Cloud sat in his very favourite place in the mansion grounds, hidden from view behind a crop of tall evergreens. Perched upon the wall overlooking the town square. It was still pretty early in the morning, but he’d snuck out of his room when Eckles had become distracted and made his way here: to wait and watch the town's children as they gathered together to play, as they always did.

And perhaps he’d been only slightly obsessive in his observations of the Nibelheim children, but he simply couldn’t sate his curiosity, they fascinated him, their carefree nature, how they created games with roles for each child that joined in, their laughter. 

He wished, some days, to join them himself, he didn’t know the freedom these boys and girls took for granted, certainly Cloud had never experienced the thrill of a game of tag or hide and seek. 

It made him realise how vastly different his life was from thiers, causing him to question why Hojo never allowed him or Sephiroth to play. Instead of enjoying endless hours lost within games of their own making, say; a game of pirates, they were expected to spar against one another with swords or hand to hand combat.

Or learn how to master Materia. 

They never played games like the children in town. The spiky haired boy scowled, he wanted to be one of them. Longed to join in with their games and smiles and laughter, to feel the joy of competing in a game with friends.

Instead of endless daily schedules, gruelling training drills and dreaded treatments. Sometimes he noticed they saw him sitting there watching them, they would exchange whispered words he couldn’t hear and point in his direction, if they were feeling brave enough they might attempt an approach, but they never made it close enough for Cloud to speak with them and if an adult was to spot them slinking closer, they were scolded.

How easy it would be to drop down the side of this wall, stroll into town and join their games. He’d recently contemplated such actions, only the fear of Hojo’s punishments held him back.

“Here you are, what are you doing?”he almost slipped off the wall in surprise as Sephiroth’s voice cut through his thoughts. 

The silver haired boy was leaning against the trees, Cloud furrowed his brows wondering how long he’d been there watching him. 

Sephiroth sighed pushing away from the tree, “you’re watching the children again, aren’t you?”his friend was clearly fed up with Cloud's obsession, his tone and expression said as much.

Of course the older boy had realised where Cloud had snuck off to so early this morning, having woken alone to find Cloud’s bed unkempt and empty, he made both beds and tidied the room before coming out to find the small boy. 

“I want to be out there.”Cloud said as he pointed towards the town, “I want to be one of them. Don’t you?”

The tall boy shrugged, “we're not like them Cloud, we’re different and wouldn’t fit in.”he said with certainty, leaving Cloud to consider whether his friend has once tried to speak with the Nibelheim children. 

Cloud narrowed his eyes, huffing, “then where do we fit Seph?”a quiet demand as he slid his gaze away from the town square. He spotted Eckles leaving the mansion's main doors and jumped down, landing before his friend. 

“I don’t know yet.”His answer was quiet, his tone indifferent, as if he didn’t care, the blond boy knew Sephiroth hated it here as much as he, he just wasn’t as expressive as Cloud.

A grin spread across Clouds face, “then I guess we’ll have to figure it out as we go.”he moved to Sephiroth’s side, his blue eyes watching Eckles as he made a beeline across the courtyard toward the two boys. He looked flustered and was breathless by the time he stopped a few feet ahead.

“Looks like somebody needs to stop smoking.”the blond snickered as Eckles bent forward, bracing his hand on his knees to heave in a breath. 

They both silently watched the man heave in a few more breaths before righting himself and facing them, shooting a warning look toward the blond, having heard his comment, causing Cloud to snicker loudly. 

“Back inside before Daley realises.”he puffed. Offering them both a lifeline, he gave a strained smile before ushering them along toward the mansion and following behind to ensure they returned. 

—-

  
  


Cloud dipped his head to avoid the oncoming glare of flames, his breathing ragged, hands trembling slightly as he fought to keep balanced. A shadow advanced, lean and tall and he dodged the strike of metal slicing toward him lighting quick and parried with his own blade.

Sephiroth had since moved on from using the long sword Cloud currently gripped in his hand, Hojo had also assigned the older boy a separate mentor to cover his advancements, the katana blade was sharp and sung as it sliced through the air. 

This was yet another observation, pitting them against one another to test their skills. It was a weekly occurrence and one Hojo seemed to get a kick out of, if his slimy smile was any indication.

The zing of metal meeting filled their ears as both boys battled to dominate the other, determined blue eyes met the focused green gaze of his friend and they grinned pushing away from each other, twisting in violent dance.

“You can do better Cloud.”taunted the taller, silver haired boy hovering nearby. His confidence bordering arrogance as he taunted the young blond.

He knew his skills were superior, in truth he was holding back to give his friend a fighting change, at least with Cloud he was able to break a sweat as the boy could easily match his speed and strength, even more so when Sephiroth taunted him, igniting that steely determination within the blond. 

The thrill of adrenaline rushed through Cloud as he ploughed forward in an attempt to knock the other backwards, Sephiroth had seen it coming, he knew Cloud’s every move and blocked his onslaught easily, swatting the 

strike away with ease. 

“Hah”the blond fell back and the pair circled one another, eyes gleaming and smirks pulling at their lips. It was all a game, a show for Hojo and Daley as they watched with eager eyes.

Green eyes narrowed, fixing on his opponent his A a few stray silver strands of hair ruffled in the gusty breaths of wind. He seized the smaller boy up waiting for his next movement, he knew it would come soon, Cloud wasn’t very patient and would strike rushing in blindly to overwhelm he taller boy.

Sephiroth’s eyes widened in surprise as a Cloud called a bolt of lightning, it ripped through the space around him as Cloud dashed to the left and twirled, aiming his blade for Sephiroth’s neck.

He stepped slightly to the right and met Cloud’s blow with a parry before summoning ice which clipped the other in the back causing him to lose his footing and land on the ground with a scowl.

“I win.”

“But I nearly had you that time.”said Cloud smirking.

A silver brow lifted “don’t get overconfident.”

A mock gasp “me overconfident? never.” He waved away the taller boy’s offered hand and got to his feet then turned aiming a sarcastic bow towards Hojo and his assistant.

Sephiroth withheld his amusement and schooled his features. Maintaining his expression of indifference as Hojo finished scribbling down his observations. His dark eyes lingering on Sephiroth a little longer than comfortable.

Still the man said nothing, turning his eyes back to his clipboard. A feeling of unease slithered over Sephiroth’s spine as he ventured over to his blond companion , he knew the calculating look on the professor's face all too well.

“You are dismissed...do whatever it is...you do.”Hojo feigned uninterest by glancing at his notes, Sephiroth was almost ready to enter the SOLDIER program, these tests were providing valuable data and showing the upscale in his advancement, Hojo was feeling particularly pleased the the data collected thus far, all that was needed now was an audience with the President and arrangements to transfer Sephiroth to Midgar, to be made.

——-

  
  


Cloud yawned stretching lazily, he lay on top of his bed covers staring idly at the ceiling. Waiting for his silver haired companion to return, their sparring match had been just the morning work out he’d needed to let off steam.

And he’d almost gained the upper hand for once, he grinned at the memory, satisfied in his almost victory, the look of surprise that had momentarily flared in Sephiroth’s eyes. He could still picture it clearly behind his closed eyelids, a satisfied smile tugging at his lips.

“Hn...that look worries me.”

Cloud peeked open one eye to glance at the tall boy in the doorway, “surprise looks good on you.”he winked, chuckling.

“Don’t get used to it.”

“But you should,”his tone sobering, blue eyes focusing on green “you won’t alway beat me.”he was serious.

Amusement laced Sephiroth’s expression and he lifted a brow, “would you like a rematch?”

Another waving hand “funny thing,”he said sitting up suddenly “I’ve just remembered I have other arrangements...so rain check?”he laughed again patting Sephiroth’s shoulder as he stood and strolled passed the older boy.

The taller boy caught his wrist, “where are you going?”suspicion lining his tone.after their conversation this morning, and the boy’s obsessive need to spend his free time sitting on a wall overlooking the town.

He looked thoughtful, “only to the lookout.” 

Not surprised by his admission Sephiroth watched him silently.

Cloud’s little name for the segment of wall surrounding the mansion, concealed behind tall thick trees, where he liked to sit and watch the village of Nibelheim. The first the boy had vanished for hours at the age of six, only for Sephiroth to find him perched atop the large wall watching the village children play.

It had continued in the years since.

The older boy offered a small smile to hide to worry gnawing at him, Cloud’s obsession with leaving the mansion bothered him. And he wasn’t certain the blond hadn’t already explored the village while everyone slept at night. 

The younger boy was known for his stubborn nature, his unpredictable moods and recent bouts of rebellion. Cloud was the Chaos to Sephiroth’s regimented order. 

Hojo paid the least amount of attention to Cloud these days, his focus primarily on Sephiroth’s training, tutoring and of course his treatments of mako enhancement, a treatment Cloud needed in fewer and smaller doses due to a sensitivity that caused bouts of violent aggression, they had discovered long ago that larger doses of Mako also caused episodes of poisoning and thus he received fewer treatments these days. 

Blue eyes narrowed at the hand encasing his wrist, “you want me to stay?”his tone slightly irritated as he attempted to pull free.

Sephiroth’s grip tightened and he pulled the boy closer, inspecting him with sharp green eyes. His lips pursing before he released his hold, “I’ll come with you?”

“If you like,”he shrugged, faking nonchalance. 

“Wait right there, while I take a shower.”His words were not a request and Cloud didn’t argue, perching back to his spot on the bed.

“Seph?”

“Hmm”

“Do you think we’ll be free of this place, one day?”

A long stretch of silence from the other, until his voice startled Cloud’s daze. 

“Perhaps, I doubt Hojo keeps us here without reason...I heard he’s thinking of relocating back to Midgar.”he entered the room minutes later towelling his damp hair.

“That’s not really what I meant…”

The silver haired boy stilled, “I know…”he paused thoughtfully, contemplating his next words. “But the reality is this Cloud; we are not free, nor do I suspect we’ll ever be free in the sense you’re longing for.”they both knew the truth of it, they belonged to Shinra whether they liked it or not.

“Then I guess moving to Midgar will have to do for now.” He lifted himself from the bed watching Sephiroth brush through his long tangled locks and sighed, unsatisfied with the other boy's blunt answer.

He was always unsatisfied these days, the mansion was his prison and freedom lay just beyond those tall walls.

One day he was going to jump down and explore the town to his heart's content, preferably before they were to move to Midgar, assuming what Sephiroth had heard was true.

The Shinra building would turn out to be an even bigger type of prison, he was sure. Having seen the monumental building in pictures, floors upon floors rose up almost meeting the sky.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to leave Nibelheim, he loved the gargantuan snow capped mountains ever present in the distance. 

This place for all the misery it often caused him, was still his home, their home and he would miss it if they moved away.

  
  


To be Continued. . . 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Slight mental abuse at Hojo’s hands. 
> 
> Cloud is punished after he hesitates during Hojo’s test, and a parting of ways looms in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you so much for all the hits, Kudos, comments and bookmarks. I really hope you guys are enjoying this story. 
> 
> So in the next few chapters there’s going to be a few time jumps, to get us where we need to be. I’m attempting to work them in as smoothly as possible. 
> 
> Again this chapter is not Beta read, however I do now have a Beta going over the chapters I’ve written and I’ll update them as I go. But for now, a little shorter than last chapter, but enjoy.

Chapter three

Sweat mixed with grimy dirt and blood in smears across his face, he hunched behind a crate gasping for breath and gripped the hilt of his blade tightly, whatever creature Hojo had pitted them against was proving far more resilient than both boys had first assumed. Cloud wouldn’t admit it vocally, but he was beginning to feel worn down and backed into a corner.

Through the hazy mist obscuring the clearing ahead, a street from one of the sectors in Midgar, the battle surrounding was indeed a simulation. Provided by the holographic technology of ShinRa however the creature was not. Hojo had set loose the monstrosity, the goal was to work together as a team to bring the beast down. 

The scene around them grew darker still and the mist began to thicken, a light refreshing rain washing some of the sweaty grime from his skin, gulping a quick breath he narrowed his eyes trying to pinpoint the location of the creature, Sephiroth was nowhere to be seen, causing worry to gnaw at him, was his friend okay?surely nothing had happened to him, the taller boy was much stronger, more agile and certainly possessed greater Materia experience than the blond.

He shook the worries away, choosing to focus on his surroundings: at least what he could make of them through the thickening haze. Blue eyes scanned across the area before him, there, breaking through the shroud of thickened fog the tall, Gangly, four limbed creature slunk forward clumsily. It’s arms were almost too long for its short body, arms swinging forward and it’s head tilted at an angle. It’s face was a nightmare given form, a gaping mouth filled with razor sharp teeth, large and wide enough for a small child to fit. The colour of its skin black and purples and angry reds, leathery in texture and oozing a tarry black sludge. 

He gave the creature a wide berth, slinking between fallen debris and using the visual impairment of the fog to his advantage to position himself at the beasts rear, in the hopes to strike from behind. As if it sensed his presence the creature whipped around and Cloud fell backwards as he met the things gaze, almost human, those eyes, though the lids were dropping, he couldn’t mistake the blue orbs staring back at him as anything but human. 

It gave him pause to look again at the creature, really look this time. Even as the thing advanced slowly, clumsily toward him, black ooze gathering in a puddle along the concrete path. A lead weight settled in his stomach, as his eyes took in the sight before him, noting the very female and human attributes defining its twisted figure and the way it was staring at him, fixated with mild recognition, those thin elongated arms reached out, twisted broken fingers extending. 

The blond lost his footing, slipped backward, landing on his backside as he stared, unblinking, never severing the eye contact with the pitiful lifeform cominuing it’s advance. The breath was knocked out of him suddenly, as it’s mouth began opening and closing, as if it were trying to speak, to communicate with him.

“Cloud!”Sephiroth’s voice startled him, the taller boy landed at his side, his hand resting on Cloud’s shoulder as his eyes assessed the creature stumbling toward them. “On my signal call forth lightning to stun the creature.”Green eyes bore into blue awaiting confirmation, Cloud nodded mutely watching Sephiroth rush forward with such speed he became a blur.

Scrambling to his feet Cloud took one last look toward the pitiful form, determination flooding him, it was an act of kindness for them to end its suffering, whatever this thing was or had been once before, still he couldn’t shake the familiarity of those eyes though. But he did as instructed and called on his Materia on Sephiroth's mark, feeling the magic gather within his palms - a ball of energy growing steadily, he thrust his palm forwards and a mighty crack shattered the quiet, sharp, blinding blue lighting bolts rained down striking the beast true.

The screams it drew from the creature assaulted his ears, he cringed, his stomach churning at the stretch of burning flesh, he thought he might throw up. He rushed forward as Sephiroth attacked swiftly, slash after slash lashing the leathery hide, drawing more screams of anguish and dark crimson bubbling from it maw.

Though his body shook Cloud joined the silver haired boys in his assault, their strikes almost synchronised in a dance of twists and turns and strikes, finally both boys landed a blow to the things chest, it shuddered, twisting this way and that, it’s eyes finding Cloud once again, as it took a deep gurgling breath and juddered to stillness.

As they readied to land the finishing blow and finally, finally put a stop to the things suffering, the simulation ended and they were back inside one of the rooms of the mansion.

  
  


Hojo’s voice echoed around the room over the speakers. “Very good, very good indeed.”The doors clattered open as a dozen personnel in bio suits rushed in, they surrounded the mortality wounded creature, prodding and stunning it with Electro-mags.

“Come to my office, Daley is waiting outside of the room.”the speaker went static and the boys looked at each other before heading for the exit, Daley met them, his expression unreadable and they followed him, talking in hushed whispers.

“Did you notice anything. . . Odd, about that. . .that creature.”Cloud asked, watching his friend closely. 

“It was just a beast from the mountains, exposed to the Mako. . . I’ve read it changes them sometimes, that’s how some monsters are born.”the silver haired boy kept his gaze on Daley back, his tone cool and laced with exhaustion.

“I don’t think. . .”The blond searched for words, “I don’t think that was a beast from the mountains, honestly Seph, it looked. . .”his words stilled as Daley cocked his head slightly, as if listening.

“You’ll get used to these types of tests, I’ve faced worse to be honest.”he turned offering Cloud a strained smile.

The doors to Hojo’s office loomed before them and Daley opened the door, mentioning for them to follow. It was less an office and more resembling an observation room, one wall alone was dotted with numerous monitors and computers. A desk made of redwood occupied a large percentage of the space, littered with folders, various papers and stationary equipment. Another computer was stationed amongst the clutter and Hojo stood from his chair, his dark eyes shining as he rounded the desk to face them both.

His white lab coat was creased and marked with dirt and what looked to be dried blood in splotches. His glasses were slightly askew and his dark greasy hair tied back loosely. He paced before them, back and forth, back and forth hands behind his back.

“The results of the data collected today are pleasing.”he began, his voice nasally. He glanced toward them, his eyes lingering on Sephiroth and he nodded to himself. “Yes, you have progressed well Sephiroth, so well in fact, that it has been decided you shall enter the SOLDIER program in a few weeks time.”Sephiroth remained silent, his back ramrod straight as he watched the professor pacing.

His gaze landed on Cloud next, his expression darkening. “As for you, I’m disappointed Cloud, you hesitated today. . .you are not meeting progress targets; further training and further treatments will be needed,”he paused at Cloud grunt of protest and raised a brow. “Something to say boy?”

He saw Sephiroth slowly shake his head, warning him to keep quiet and let Hojo ramble on.

“I. . . I only hesitated because. . .because. . .”he faulted with furrowed brows, feeling the pressure of Hojo’s dark gaze, “I felt sorry for it.”his cheeks heated.

“You felt sorry for it?”Hojo said incredulously, “you felt pity for a creature that would rip the flesh from your bones, is that right?” 

“I. . .well. . .yes, I suppose.”he wanted to scream that he thought it had looked almost human, but under the professor's dark gaze, his face twisted with disgust at Cloud’s words, his bravery failed him and fell silent.

“Pathetic, I had such high hopes for you”he shook his head, “such high hopes indeed, at least Sephiroth is proving a triumph, Daley, take him to the lower laboratory, he’s overdue a treatment.”he waved the boy away, Daley took him by the forearm and steered him out from the office.

Leaving Hojo and Sephiroth alone.

“Now, let us discuss the arrangements concerning your entry into the SOLDIER program.”

——-

He would be leaving for Midgar in two weeks time. The thoughts repeated through his mind as he sat by the window staring at Clouds empty bed, he was to be enrolled in a relatively new program called SOLDIER, he was to be housed and trained alongside other recruits within the confines of ShinRa’s army barracks in Midgar. 

He would be going alone, without Cloud but accompanied by Hojo and a few of his team. Cloud would remain here in Nibelheim to continue his studies and training, Hojo had hinted at the possibility that Cloud would one day be joining him in Midgar, but he was too young and his training was not yet complete.

He didn’t like it, but he had little choice in the matter. Daley would be staying to continue Cloud’s treatments and oversee his training with orders to make weekly reports to Hojo. There wasn’t a day in the last seven years where he’d had no contact with Cloud and Sephiroth knew the blond wasn’t going to take the news well at all.

Sephiroth tilted his head listening as silence descended over the mansion, the hour was late now, almost forty eight hours having passed since Cloud was escorted to the lower levels. His legs twitched as he contemplated venturing through the underground caverns that lead to Hojo’s laboratory.

He detested that particular haunt of Hojo’s, but for Cloud he would go. He would face memories of long ago days when he, himself was subjected to treatments down there.

At Hojo’s mercy.

——

His vision swam with horrors from his nightmares, he could no longer differentiate between hallucinations and reality as he lay strapped to the bed in a cold, lonely room. The scraping of claws on stone echoed all around and he thought he caught the sounds of deep growls.

The sky reigned with fire above him, ash coating his skin, his lips and tongue. He was parched with thirst. The heat of his burning body wasn’t helping and he couldn’t be sure if he were screaming or not, he was sure he had been at some point.

Whispers rose all around him, a voice that spoke to him, tugging him in a direction he didn’t want to go, it’s words unintelligible and yet. . .he knew it was a calling, knew it bone deep as if it were ingrained within his very marrow. 

It spoke to him and yet he heard no voice, no words. 

He whimpered as a silhouette approached the bed on his left side,tall and lithe, long tresses of hair billowing in a breeze he couldn’t feel. He both wanted to reach out his arms to embrace the figure and recoil in terror as it slowly sauntered nearer. 

Come to me. It seemed to call without uttering a single word. 

“No, no.” He trashed against the restraints. 

The fight or flight response set firmly to flight, he didn’t want to be near the figure. 

Blue eyes looked around wildly, his face pale and sweaty and his stomach rolling as ash and fire consumed the twisted bodies littering the ground around him, nightmares bleeding into his surroundings those twisted creatures, skin and muscle melting from their bones crawling amongst the dead.

Crawling to where Cloud lay or perhaps toward the advancing figure. 

“No, no, no.”it became a chant, his head whipping left and right as he fought relentlessly to free himself, terror seizing him.

Tears escaped his eyes, the lithe figure reaching his side, it’s features obscured by shadows, he could make out nothing but a sharp chin and pointed nose, a hand reached out. . . Long fingers touching his face.

He screamed.

Come, come, come to me.

The beating of his heart raged furiously in his chest, the touch of its fingers like hoarfrost against the burning of his flesh, his breathing became rapid, erratic and his eyes rolled to the back of his head as darkness swallowed him.

——

He awoke in a hollow dug into the cavern beneath the mansion’s foundations. The space was large, cold and dimly lit with sconces hammered onto the rough, sharp walls. Feeling weak from the treatment Hojo had forced upon him, he could barely lift his head to glance around. 

The stench of lingering Mako and his own body odour twisted his stomach until he was sick upon the rough stone floor, thankfully, the cool stone soothed his heated skin as he pressed a cheek to the ground, tresses of his hair mixing with the pool of bile. 

Normally Hojo would transfer him back to his room to recover from treatments, this was new, clearly the results of Hojo’s displeasure over Clouds lack of progress and his hesitation during the latest test, he frowned wondering how long ago that had been, hours or days? 

Shuffling movement sounded somewhere to his right, he squinted toward the shadows noting the hollow was sectioned off into two separate cells by thick bars, on the other side he could make out a shadowy form, hunched in a corner.

He caught the whiff of blood and rot dominating the smell of damp. The familiar mechanical whirl of a camera turning had Cloud searching the hollow walls to find its location, so, this was to be another test then, he was sure whatever Hojo had in store for him wasn’t going to be pleasant

“Ah, awake at last. Wonderful, wonderful”Hojo’s oily voice reverberated around the hollow, amplified, causing Cloud to wince at the volume.

“You’re likely feeling the effects of the double treatment I administered, you’ll become accustomed to them boy, you have a purpose to fulfill. You will not fail again. . . Now,” Cloud dragged his body up into a sitting position, he knew all this, Hojo’s drivel continued, the same lecture Daley frequently gave him.

“I have a test for you Cloud, let’s see how well you do. Of course, if you wish to see Sephiroth before his departure to Midgar. . . You’ll surely pass this test with no difficulty.” The professor cackled gleefully, the blond grimaced at the sound. His head thumping painfully with the after effects of Hojo’s treatment. 

So Sephiroth was leaving for Midgar to join SOLDIER, with Cloud remaining in Nibelheim without his only source of companionship. He winced at the thought of remaining here alone, with either Daley or Hojo - though he was almost certain Hojo would accompany his friend. 

“It’s a simple test, your cellmate is the creature you fought two days ago” two days, Had it really been that long? though to be fair Cloud had been in the midst of hallucinations. “Two options lay before you; should you wish to . . . See Sephiroth before his departure, simply leave the pitiful thing to rot, cast aside your empathy.”

A test and a punishment, Hojo’s cruelties went beyond the pail and he knew Cloud wouldn’t want to miss seeing his only friend before they were separated. 

“. . . Or you can end its pathetic existence, indulging in your pity and remain quarantined until Sephiroth’s departure. . . It’s your choice dear boy.”the intercom fizzled off, leaving Cloud to mull over Hojo’s ultimatum, light flared overhead and flooded both cells.

Illuminating the pitiful creature.

Cloud shit his eyes against the glare but heard clearly the pathetic sounds issuing from the creature, he braced himself for the glare and opened his eyes, his long sword rested against the stone wall a few metres away.

He crawled clumsily toward the bars, the creature, hearing his approach twisted, angling it’s face toward him, those all too human eyes shining with pain, he so very much wanted to take his sword and pierce the things heart, ending it’s life. . . But he already knew the choice he would make, Hojo likely did as well.

Hojo knew he wouldn’t bestow the beast freedom from its suffering, knew it simply because it meant a deeper torture; missing precious time with Sephiroth. 

Tears slid over his dirty cheeks as the creatures watched him, a spark of something glittering through its gaze, it turned away curling in on itself.

As if it, too, understood the choice the boy had made and knew it’s pain would not end today.

Sephiroth’s words from their last talk came to him then. “It was just a beast from the mountains, exposed to the Mako. . . I’ve read it changes them sometimes, that’s how some monsters are born.” 

Just a beast, a monster from the mountains that would happily kill me. He thought turning his body away from facing the adjoining cell. Just a monster, a beast. 

He sat rigidly, his back to the creature and waited for someone to collect him from this place, once Hojo was satisfied.

____

Sephiroth hadn’t managed to descend the lower levels of the mansion, despite his attempts to find his friend, Daley had caught him in the process of unlocking the door. He’d been scolded and sent to Hojo’s office, as punishment for his attempts the silver haired boy had been ordered to sit back and enjoy Hojo’s latest horror show.

He thought he knew the extent of Hojo’s depravity, especially having endured some of it first hand, but what he’d been forced to witness turned his stomach, knowing Cloud the way he did and as Hojo never could. 

Despite their upbringing under Hojo’s sadistic whims, Cloud had always retained a kind of innocence Sephiroth had lost long ago, despite their young age, both boys had endured horrors none of those idiotic children of Nibelheim could imagine.

So he was forced to watch as Cloud faced a difficult choice and felt sick to his stomach when the blond haired boy went against his instincts, leaving the half alive creature to suffer, Sephiroth prayed Hojo’s latest torment of the boy wouldn’t break his fragile spirit. Even for all his strength and prowess and his stubborn disregard for rules, Cloud was loyal and kind.

So far as he knew, the spiky haired boy hadn’t had to endure some of the horrors Sephiroth had, but Hojo liked to make an example of rule breakers, he took a sick pleasure in it.

Even now hours later he sat by the window in their shared room, thinking and worrying about Cloud, he hadn’t yet returned and if Hojo had indeed allowed him to leave the lower levels, he hadn’t sought out the taller boy. 

  
  


Sephiroth stood from his seat deciding to seek the smaller boy out himself, there was one place he knew Cloud was likely to be, especially if he wanted to be alone. 

As he’d suspected Cloud was at the lookout, perched on the edge of the tall brick wall his legs drawn up to his chest, he was showered and wearing clean clothes but he looked pale and exhausted. 

As if Hojo and his science team forgot or simply didn’t care that they were just children. The only comfort they’d ever had was from each other, he scaled the wall noting Cloud’s stillness, he clearly knew Sephiroth was there but chose not to register this.

“When do you leave?”his voice rough, Cloud half turned his head toward the silver haired boy. 

“In a few weeks, maybe less. Hojo wasn’t very specific.” He cast his green eyes over the shadowy form of Mt. Nibel and the forest that spanned for miles around its base. 

A tired sigh issued from Cloud, “I hate this, all of this. . . I hate Hojo, ShinRa, all of it.”

“I saw. . .what what he made you choose between, I’m sorry”The younger boy bit out a bitter laugh, 

Cloud made no further comment on the subject, “it’s going to be strange enduring everyday without you around.”

“I feel the same, I’ll write to you every week.”Sephiroth promised sliding closer to his friend, Cloud nodded, resting his head on the taller boy's shoulder with a yawn.

“I’m going to work hard Seph, don’t get used to life without me, I’ll work so hard to get a transfer to Midgar.”his tone serious, Sephiroth saw the determination gleam in his blue orbs.

“I know you will, promise me one thing though. . .”he hedged, meeting Cloud’s blue eyes. “Try not to break too many rules.”

Cloud laughed “I dunno if I can promise you that, I don’t mean to be obstinate or disobedient, it just happens. . .but I’ll try my best.”

Sephiroth nodded“Alright, try your best then.”

“I expect you to buy me lots of presents, you know, to bring back when you can visit.” Blue eyes sparkled with laughter.

“Oh, I suppose when I get a wage, I could consider buying you a few things.” Sephiroth raised his brow and Cloud punched his arm playfully.

“So. . .are you up for some lengthy sparring session before you leave, I can get a head start in my pushing myself.”

Sephiroth grinned, “now or tomorrow?”

Another yawn, “tomorrow, bright and early.”

To be continued. . . 

  



	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Sephiroth learn to deal with being apart and even start to form new friendships along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the Kudos, Bookmarks and Hits. 
> 
> Again this is not Beta read, So apologies for any errors I may have missed.
> 
> Small time jumps in this chapter, prepare yourself for a larger jump coming in chapter five.

**Chapter four**

The weeks passed slowly without his friend's company within the confines of ShinRa mansion. The first week had been the most torturous, waking every morning to find Sephiroth’s bed empty and knowing he hadn’t woken up early to train, knowing wouldn’t even see him at breakfast. Eventually, as he grew tired of waking to face the constant reminder He was now alone, he snapped at Eckles to remove the bed from his room. 

He’d become touchy and moody in the weeks following, perhaps this was some form of separation anxiety, considering Sephiroth had been a key figure in life since he could recall. 

He didn’t want the constant reminder that he was now alone. The weeks following became a little easier with a new routine, Cloud threw himself into training every minute of the day, so that by the end of it he was far too exhausted to even dwell on how much he was missing Sephiroth. He ate dinner, bathed and crawled into bed, sleeping soundly, and waking each day only to repeat everything once again.

On the plus side, he was exceeding all of his tests and training was going very well, much to Daley’s astonishment. The man had even insisted he take the day off for recreation time, apparently he thought Cloud was heading towards a burnout, noting the blond took very few breaks between his schedule these days. 

The blond was also keenly aware that he had another round of treatment coming within the next few days, and so decided it was time to do something he’d been deliberating on for weeks now. Seeing as Hojo wasn’t personally here to punish him, and he doubted Daley was as sadistic as the Professor, surely his punishments wouldn’t be as severe? Cloud thought a little exploration was just the thing to sooth his restlessness.

Having the day off to enjoy as he saw fit, he notified Eckles and Knox that he was going to the Lookout and he’d be gone a few hours, he threw a petulant glare and demanded they not bother him. The staff, already weary of his volatile mood swings often chose to leave him be. 

It was exactly how he preferred it.

He was finally going to live a little and do it, drop down on the other side of the wall and go into town, sure, he’d promised Sephiroth he’d try to abide by the rules, but boredom had finally settled in and frankly he longed for some company his own age, also Sephiroth wasn’t here to reprimand him for his reckless actions and Eckles and Knox were well meaning, but terribly dull company.

He needed to broaden his search for some refreshingly new companionship, he’d be damned if he was going to spend the next few years with no one but Shinra staff to communicate with. 

Excitement bubbled within him as he pulled himself atop the wall, from his vantage he could see the children had gathered by the well, laughing and joking around together.

A few of the larger boys tussled about in a playful fight, he smiled and dropped down.

What could possibly go wrong?

——

He was far exceeding all his classes, trouncing the other recruits to be honest, he’d even held back a fair bit so they didn’t feel so bad in comparison. Only two other recruits were matching his skills in every class, two boys he hadn’t had much interaction with and they both seemed fairly close to each other, Angeal, a tall stocky boy with gravity defying spiky black hair, his spikes often made him think of Cloud. The second boy, Genesis was tall, lithe and rather articulate, and just a tad snide and bitchy, his red hair was perfectly groomed and he was fast, his movements almost a match for Sephiroth’s own speed. Sparring with both these boys would actually prove a good workout. 

He just wasn’t very good at striking up conversation, lacking the social skills necessary to make attempts at starting new friendships, it was different with Cloud, he’d known him since he was a baby, helped teach him to sit up and crawl and walk, he’d even spent his free time teaching the younger boy to read and write. It was easy between them, natural. 

Sitting here among a group of peers around his own age wasn’t so easy, conversation was stilted and awkward, he found many of the recruits were alarmingly nervous around him, was he really that intimidating? Perhaps they saw or sensed whatever strangeness the children of Nibelheim had, seeing as their reactions to him were so similar.

Lunchtime arrived and everyone was dismissed, the cadets rushing through the corridors to reach the cafeteria, having built an appetite with the morning's training. Sephiroth toward the back of the cafeteria and was just finishing up his weekly letter to Cloud, when the chairs opposite him scraped across the floor, the sound almost making him cringe, recruits Angeal and Genesis sat down with their trays, Sephiroth glanced up quickly as he finished folding his letter and reached for the envelope.

“It’s Sephiroth, right? Hope you don’t mind us sitting here.”Angeal smiled.

The other gave him a once over and drawled, “we don’t need permission Angeal, we can sit wherever we like.”

The dark haired boy elbowed his friend, “pay no attention to Gen, he’s prickly even on a good day.” The redhead snorted in response and Sephiroth turned away from them, his attention back to his letter, writing the name and address on the envelope. 

“So whose Cloud?”Genesis asked casually, as if it was perfectly natural to pry into others' business. “Strange name.” He added thoughtfully while taking a bite of his sandwich.

Sephiroth offered him a cool glance but deigned not to answer. The boy seemed to bristle slightly at being ignored and the dark haired boy tugged his elbow gently. 

“Genesis, behave.”Angeal offered the silver haired boy an apologetic smile, “apologies, he’s a pain in the ass.”

“Clearly.” Muttered Sephiroth, “enjoy your meal.”he stood and staked from the cafeteria to his dorm room, cursing himself for his inability to deal with social interactions. 

Maybe he needed to visit the library and find a self help book.

——

His first encounter with the children of Nibelheim hadn’t gone so well, especially when they realised he’d come from the Shinra mansion. Of the eight children he met that day only three deigned to actually give him the time of day, the other five had decided they didn’t particularly like him very much.

Sephiroth had been right, the five boys had been rude and dismissive, declaring to the three that were happy to have him around, that they couldn’t join the game once Cloud was gone . Feeling dejected, the blond had simply glared at the group, though his feelings were hurt and what he truly wanted to do was give the leader of the little group a good punch in the face. He managed to control his temper, knowing he was much stronger than these children, he didn’t want to harm them, it would cause him more trouble if he gave in to his impulses. 

Still, he had three new friends who seemed to enjoy his company.

Tarquin, a rather chubby blond boy, Ewin, a tall Dark haired boy and Tifa, a very kind and pretty brunette who was also training in hand to hand combat. She was perhaps his favourite person to chat with as they had a lot more in common.

She wasn’t put off or perturbed by his excessive talk of combat. 

He was waiting at the edge of town now for Tifa, they’d agreed to meet close to the Mansion, just in case Cloud had to suddenly sneak back into the grounds, today wasn’t officially a free day but fortunately Daley was otherwise occupied at present and that left Cloud with, hopefully a few hours of free time to spend with his new friend.

“Hey Cloud, sorry I’m late. . .training ran over time.”Tifa half yelled as she ran over to greet him, the smile on her face lighting up her brown eyes.

He smiled waving it off, “that’s okay, it’s going well then?”

Tifa beamed, “really well, Master Zangan thinks I have great potential. Did you know he has one hundred and twenty eight students spread out across Gaia?”

Cloud raised a brow, “I didn’t know that, wow really?”

“Uh-huh he travels the world, apparently his mission is to train martial arts to children wherever he can. . . Pretty inspiring.”by the way her eyes twinkled, Cloud could tell she looked up to her mentor immensely. Perhaps hoping to one day follow a similar path in life. He had to admit, she’d be a great teacher.

“So what do you want to do today?”she asked sitting beside him.

He shrugged, “I can’t go too far from the mansion, Just in case someone comes looking.” He strained his ears listening, but heard none of the tell tale signs anyone was looking for him.

Tifa frowned, it looked as if she wanted to say something but changed her mind, Cloud hadn’t exactly been honest with her about his life within the confines of the mansion, but as they’d come to know each other. . . Become almost friends? It was clear he’d have to offer her some home truths.

She was a sharp, smart girl. 

“I was wondering about you Cloud, what I mean is. . .you talk like, well, like they own you.”her concern was evident, and Cloud shrugged with a lighthearted laugh.

“Doesn’t ShrinRa own everything?”he tried to lighten the mood, he didn’t really want to discuss anything on this subject. The worry that gnawed at him was that if she discovered even a semblance of truth, that he was in fact ShinRa property, that she might not want to be his friend.

“I don’t think that’s true.”

His sharp blue gaze stunned her for a moment, a shadow dwelled within her friend and she had to wonder what nightmares haunted those eyes. Cloud was a little strange but she’d found his company rather refreshing, she liked him, though she often felt worried for him. 

“Tifa, listen. . .”he struggled for words, “you need to trust me, there’s some things you’re better off not knowing.”like that he was just another of Hojo’s subjects or that he underwent treatments on a regular basis and he didn’t know exactly what they were, that there was no choice for him to refuse, he had no idea what his purpose was or what his future would be. And she didn’t need to know those things, for her own safety.

“Fine, keep your secrets. . .but I hope you’ll tell me one day.”she said softly pining him with a firm gaze, her pink lips set in a slight pout. 

“Maybe. . .but I’ve gotta say it's really better if we're not friends if I’m being honest, you know.” Cloud shrugged.

“So you don’t want to be friends?” She furrowed her brow in confusion, hands resting on her hips. 

“Of course I do, I just meant it’s safer if we’re not friends.”he laughed shaking his head, “nevermind, c’mon why don’t you show me some of your moves.”

Tifa grinned and began a quick warm up. “Alright.”

——-

  
  


Sephiroth grit his teeth ignoring the red haired boy as he talked aimlessly about anything and everything over lunch, for some reason Angel and Genesis had decided Sephiroth’s once nice, quiet table was now thiers too. Every single day he came to lunch, sat down and they appeared.

They were persistent in trying to engage him, he didn’t mind most days even stretching to having polite if somewhat awkward conversations once or twice, he couldn’t actually recall the last time he’d engaged with them in conversation. Genesis, true to Angeal’s warnings, was a prickly creature that loved to gripe and gossip about everything, not to mention his ridiculous obsession with Loveless, dear lord, he quoted it day and night.

The red head was currently jabbering on about some rumours spreading through the barracks about a couple of fellow recruits. 

“Apparently they were caught in the gym closet.”he cackled with glee, “it’s the most entertaining thing I’ve heard all week, they both adamantly deny it, but of course, that just proves they were up to something.”he ate a forkful of his lunch, his eyes shining.

Angeal raised a brow, “and that was what Gen?”

Genesis lifted a brow and he gave his friend a disapproving look, “clearly they were getting it on, honestly Angeal, why else would two cadets be hiding in a closet together?”

Sephiroth didn’t really know why he suddenly decided to speak, he surprised even himself “perhaps they became shut in by accident when putting equipment away.” Perfectly believable and probably exactly what had happened.

Angela slowly nodded his agreement with a smile on his face, “see Gen, that could be what happened.”he seemed pleased that the silver haired boy had spoken.

Genesis was staring at him now, his eyes gleaming with a look Sephiroth couldn’t quite decipher. He met his state and Genesis blinked, his expression forming into one of mock surprise, he clutched at his throat dramatically.

“He speaks, by the goddess, it’s a miracle.” 

Angela chuckled but rolled his eyes, “enough Gen, honestly,” he turned to Sephiroth “so, any plans this weekend? Gen and I were planning to train in the simulators if you’d like to join us?”

Both boys watched him as the minutes ticked by while he deliberated the offer, his face remaining blank, devoid of the internal conflict happening within. It would be nice to spend the weekend with some company. Indeed training with sparring partners near his own abilities would be just the thing he needed after holding back all week against the regular cadets.

“Yes, thank you. I would very much like to join you.” 

Angeal beamed, Genesis snickered, earning another a frown from the dark haired boy, he shrugged in return, they were having some form of silent conversation, he wondered if that’s how he and Cloud had looked to the staff at Shinra mansion during the years. 

His fingers fiddled with the unopened envelope as his thoughts turned to the blond, he’d received the letter this morning and had yet to open it. While Angeal and Genesis began discussing the upcoming Materia test he tore the envelope and withdrew the letter.

_ Seph, _

_ Hi, sorry I took so long to reply. I've been really busy, Eckles and Knox send their regards, those guys are actually really great. . .training is going well and my treatments are getting easier to deal with now, less nightmares and hallucinations, Daley believes my body is finally adjusting.  _

_ I made a friend at the lookout, her name is Tifa. She’s training in martial arts and she’s really kind, it’s nice having someone to talk to besides Eckles and Knox, have you made any new friends? you mentioned meeting two boys. Also how is training going? How are you?  _

_ Will you get a holiday soon? maybe Hojo will let you come and visit,  _

_ Sorry for the short letter but I have a few assessments coming up and I have to prepare. I’ll let you know how they go. _

_ Cloud. _

He wrinkled his brow Cloud had made a friend at the lookout, that didn’t sound right, the children of Nibelheim seldom wandered near the mansion from fear of the stories and reprimand from the villagers. His friend had always talked about one day climbing over the wall and strolling into town.

Apparently Cloud had forgotten his warning to stay out of trouble, it was probably a blessing that Hojo was here in Midgar or else Cloud would likely be under constant punishment and by the sounds of it Eckles and Knox might very well be aware of Cloud’s misadventures into town and be covering for him.

He chuckled, unsurprised that Cloud had managed to charm those two.

“The goddess really is blessing us today, he laughs too.”exclaimed Genesis, “do enlighten us as to what could possibly make Mr. Stoic laugh.”Sephiroth almost groaned at the stupid nickname, though he’d become accustomed to Genesis and Angeal and for once was able to pick up the teasing tone.

“Just reading a letter from my friend.”

“Ah, from the mysterious Cloud?” Genesis asked eagerly, hopeful that Sephiroth might be begint to trust them enough to open up, Angeal also leaned in a little closer, looking interested.

Sephiroth shrugged, “we grew up together. . .this is the first time we’ve been separated.” He received equal expressions of understanding from both boys.

“That saddens me, I couldn’t imagine being separated from Angeal. . .we also grew up together.”the red head informed him.

Angela nods, “it sounds tough. . .sorry to hear.”

“Hmm, with any luck in a few years time he’ll be transferred to Midgar for training.”it didn’t seem so bad when he thought of it that way. 

And it seemed like Cloud was doing fine, judging from his letters he was even making friends, perhaps it was time Sephiroth did the same and gave these two boys a chance, they were certainly reaching out enough.

“Where should I meet you on Saturday?” He asked.

Both boys offered him a genuine smile at that.

——

One year passed at the speed of light, and though Cloud had once found it difficult to get through each day without Sephiroth’s companionship, now the days flew by in a blur as he filled them with his tutoring and training, field and development tests and plenty of recreational time, he choose to Spaans it with Tifa and a few other Nibelheim children.

His weekly letters to Sephiroth were now more like monthly correspondences as both of them had busy schedules. He hadn’t seen his silver haired friend in over a year now, Hojo had refused all requests from either boy to make a visit.

They did now speak occasionally over the PHS, Eckles and Knox were kind enough to offer up the use of their phones so Sephiroth could call on the third Saturday of every month, Cloud much preferred the phone calls than spending tedious amounts of time composing a letter.

The blond was currently sitting in his room, by the window overlooking the courtyard eagerly awaiting Sephiroth’s monthly phone call, tonight Eckles had provided his PHS for use, the little black magic box was on his desk as he waited for the tinkling ringtone to fill the silence. 

The niggling worry rising within the pit of his stomach grew as the hours wore on, was Seph too busy to make his call this week? Had something happened to him? His mind whirled with a plethora of reasons why the PHS remained silent.

He tapped his fingers idly against the desk.

His brow furrowed as he stared, almost willing it to begin ringing. He chewed his lip, panic begining to set it, which was pretty stupid wasn’t it? It’s not like Sephiroth was obliged to keep in contact, he understood people drifted apart especially when they no longer spent time together in physical proximity. 

Hadn’t he himself also moved on to new friendships, with Tifa, Tarquin and Ewin? He could hardly expect Sephiroth to remain friendless when he was surrounded by peers of similar age. He didn’t begrudge him that but. . .but at the same time, an ugly feeling yawned within his chest at the thought of Sephiroth spending his free time with brand new and possibly more interesting friends and forgetting about Cloud.

He jumped, pulled from his flood of thoughts as the shrill ringtone pierced through the silence and he lunged, non to gracefully either, to answer.

“Hello.”his voice came out hurried and he cringed.

“Cloud, are you okay? Sorry my call is late.” Sephiroth's smooth voice soothed the worries he’d dragged to the surface and he let out a breath he hadn’t realised he held in.

“I was beginning to think you’d forgotten me.”he admitted trying to sound lighthearted but even he could pick up the slight hint of bitterness, why the hell had he said that? He frowned and shook his head, too late to take it back now.

“Cloud.”he recognised the rebuking tone. “Why would you think that?”

“I. . .sorry, it’s been a long week.”Indeed, he hadn’t even had much time to spend with Tifa or the boys. His schedule even busier than usual, a sure sign there was another upcoming test and Daley wanted him ready, likely to keep Hojo from criticising his tutoring. 

“Are you sure that’s all?”he heard Sephiroth’s sigh and felt instantly bad for worrying him. 

“I’m fine, really. . .just very tired. Anyway how are you? How’s training?”

“Training is exhausting. Everyone here is on edge and our training has been ramped up several notches.”Now he listened he could hear the slight hint of exhaustion in his friend's voice.

His curiosity piqued, “why’s that?”

A drawn out silence, “War with Wutai is looming on the horizon, all cadet training is being fast tracked should the need arise for more soldiers on the battlefield. . .”the blond haired boy let out a low whistle, at a loss for words. Training for war was one thing, actually being drafted into a war another. 

“Do you think war is inevitable?”Cloud was currently reading Strategies of War for an assignment, he knew the situation must be dire for ShinRa to even consider drafting Cadets to the frontlines. He shuddered at the thought.

“As far as we know, officially, Wutai have made the first movement, it’s just a case of if and when ShinRa will retaliate and move their forces out.”he imagined Sephiroth combing through his silver strands with his slim fingers. 

Cloud hesitated, “will you. . .will you be sure to let me know, anyway you can, if you are drafted ?”he didn’t want to visualise the possibility that his friend would be drafted into the war, but he knew it’s exactly what he was being trained for, what Cloud was being trained for, they’d been training their whole lives hadn’t they? To be exceptional weapons for ShinRa’s exclusive use, he knew that much from his eavesdropping on the staff's conversations. 

“You have my word, don’t worry. . . I have no plans to die in a war, and besides that, the cadets haven’t been drafted for duty yet if it happens at all.” 

“Okay, so besides the news of a looming War, how are you?”the blond asked, attempting to keep his tone light, he struggled to rid himself of the vision of Sephiroth in the battlefield, bloody, caked in dirt as he fought his way through the battlefield.

A great shudder runs down his spine.

“I’m well, thankfully they haven’t filled our weekends with training so I usually spend them with Angeal and Genesis, you remember the two cadets I mentioned?” Unfortunately Cloud did recall, he usually overlooked the brief mentions of them in his friends letters, again the thing in his chest yawned, stretching reaching out.

Was it jealousy?

He felt suddenly ashamed of himself, he had no right to feel jealous, hadn’t he just been thinking about how pleased he was that Sephiroth had found friendship? He sighed out loud without thinking.

“Cloud?”

Damn it. “I’m exhausted Seph, I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t sure if the silver haired boy bought his lie, if he didn’t, he never questioned the blond about it.

“Get some rest, we’ll speak again soon.”

“You too, goodnight Seph.”

“Goodnight.”

Cloud put the PHS down and groaned, still annoyed with himself at his petty jealousy. Without returning the PHS to Eckles, the blond crawled into his bed forgoing his studies and deciding that perhaps, he did need an early night's rest.

In the back of his mind the worry of Sephiroth being drafted to Wutai continued to claw at him. 

To be continued. . . 


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud makes a few discoveries in Hojo’s office and embarks on a disastrous path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all once again for the hits, bookmarks, comments and kudos. It really means a lot that you guys are enjoying this.
> 
> So firstly apologies for the late update, the next update may be late also because I’m currently moving house, secondly this is not beta read yet, please excuse any errors...I just very much wanted to get this chapter out before my life becomes even more hectic with the house move.
> 
> Warning for slight use of language, slightly disturbing descriptions and hints of abuse and mental health issues.
> 
> Enjoy!

_ There's too many men, too many people _

_ Making too many problems _

_ And not much love to go around _

_ Can't you see this is the land of confusion? _

**_-Hidden Citizen - Land Of Confusion._ **

**Chapter Five**

Cloud entered the dining hall of the mansion on a high, the hustle and bustle of ShinRa staff and scientists filled his ears as they mulled about or rushed to and from the buffet table laid out with platters of breads, rolls, cheeses, meats and salads. His stomach grumbled at the delicious smells permeating the air and set off to fill his plate to the point of overflowing. He found a table to the back of the rather confined dining hall, seating himself he dug into the ham and cheese beagle first, thoughtful as he chewed.

The whispers around him filled his ears, with talk of the war ending, ShinRa had dominated Wutai’s forces, successfully winning the war, the SOLDIER program was being hailed a huge success, he pushed down a feeling of resentment, Hojo still didn’t think he was fit enough to join. Despite his best efforts to pass every test and trial, Daley threw at him. No, Hojo still managed to instil within the blond how inferior he was to Sephiroth, as if by telling him these things with each visit, it would drive a wedge between the blond and the silver haired boy, well man now, twenty two was hardly boy territory anymore. And his friend was now a war hero and General of ShinRa’s armies.

The Demon Of Wutai, his friend had been dubbed, it was plastered all over the media, his triumphs leading Shrina to a bloody victory. It was all he heard about in whispered conversations, not only here, but when he ventured into Nibelheim village too. He wondered if they realised his friend was the boy they’d once turned away as a play fellow. 

His ruminations took a darker turn, after much deliberation Cloud was going to confront Daley and demand to know what his purpose was, he felt trapped, stuck in a never ending cycle of routine year after year, without his friendship with Tifa, the blond would have surely lost his mind.

And a part of him wondered if that wasn’t Hojo’s test in all of this. How he despised the scientist and yet...and yet he found himself wanting to prove his worth, even through all the pain and misery the man had brought him, through the long nights when he was young and Hojo wanted to test his healing capabilities, through long session of slicing him open on a table, again and again. Eventually, like Sephiroth, Cloud had separated himself from the pain, he refused to scream, to beg for help, he found a place within his mind to hide.

Worse still were the ‘treatments’ that brought about vivid, terrifying hallucinations and still Hojo wanted to see more, more, more. But he only pushed them close to breaking point, never beyond it. A shudder ran through the blond as he swallowed his food, he hated Hojo, but hated his staff more so, those who turned a blind eye to the suffering of the two young boys, Eckles and Knox were perhaps, exceptions as they always tried to offer the boy’s some form of after care or as much as they were able, without attracting Hojo’s attention.

Hé knew it was twisted and wrong how he still remained loyal to a man like Hojo, the saying ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds’ came to mind, somewhere along the line Cloud had become numb to his situation, following instruction like an obedient puppy, his bouts of rebellion, he knew, were his own form of expressing his feelings or at least trying to feel things that weren’t associated with pain, violence and blood. 

Like those moments he’d spent with Tifa, the coming together of two people sharing breaths, in the thrall of their hormone fuelled lust, he knew about copulation through his studies, he’d never felt any interest in the act itself, though he surmised that was due to his body’s late hormonal development. They came together a few times after that first, their joinings a sweet, comfortable release of the tensions bubbling within each of them. but ultimately they had both decided, underneath those moments there was nothing more to it.

They were friends, simply that and nothing more, having explored their baser human urges, it was clear to Cloud though that Tifa was beautiful, but he needed nothing more than friendship from her and similarly she felt the same. They were each pillars of strength and comfort for the other, he loved her deeply, but only as a friend, she knew everything about him now, no secret lay between them.

His musings were disturbed by the scraping of a chair beside him, tilting his head he spotted the tiny red haired form of Cissnei, her black suit immaculate, not a crease to be seen. She was a Turk, of course, he noted the guarded looks she received from the scientists, they were alway wary of the Turks presence here. But it was usually their job to check in for Hojo or the President and report back.

“Can I help you Cissnei?”His voice was dry, he didn’t dislike the girl, but he didn’t exactly appreciate her presence either.

One could never quite trust a Turk, they were after all, ShinRas spies, loyal only to their own department and of course, the President. 

“You sure know how to make a girl feel welcome Cloud.”she said sweetly, he turned to steal a quick look at her, her brown eyes twinkled as she pushed aside a lock of red hair. She was smiling with amusement.

“It's a talent,”he said scowling as her hand shot forward, swiping food from his plate. His retort earned him an amused laugh, the sweet tinkling sound startling a scientist waking by. The poor guy nearly dropped his plate.

“I felt like a little company for lunch is all, oh, and I have a package for you.” She placed a thick brown envelope on the table between them and winked. “He paid me enough for a little holiday to Costa Del Sol to deliver this to you. . .you're welcome.”it was from Sephiroth, well of course it was, beside Tifa the silver haired man was the only other person to care enough for him to purchase gifts. He slid the package closer, it was no bigger than a shoebox in size and contained a smaller box with a PHS inside, a note with Sephiroth’s cursive and a pendent, an intricately hand carved silver wolf's head, the brightest blue gems used for its eyes. 

Cissnei let out a low whistle, “wow, that’s Wutai craftsmanship if I ever saw it...it’s very beautiful.”she was leaning closer toward him and he flinched back on autopilot at the proximity. He only allowed Tifa or Sephiroth into his personal bubble, he shot her a glare.

“Why are you still here?”

“I forgot how pleasant your company is.”she threw him a wink before swiping more food from his plate.

He pointed toward the buffet table, “you can get your own.”

His smile grew wider still, “but it wouldn’t taste half as good.”

He grumbled “of course it wouldn’t.”

He opened the box containing the PHS leaving Cissnei picking at the food from his plate, his eyes glanced over the note and he smiled at the message. 

_ Happy belated Birthday Cloud, I thought it prudent you had your very own PHS.  _

_ Seph. _

_ P.s I set it up for you. _

He read over that last line again, understanding the message. The phone wasn’t bugged by ShinRa or Hojo, it was a completely private line. He pressed the on switch and placed the phone onto the table, waiting for it to boot up. His eyes drifted over to Cissnei again and he frowned.

His phone dinged once, quite loudly startling both occupants of the table. And Cloud reached over and flipped it open. A small envelope flashed on the screen indicating he’d received a message, Sephiroth must have pre programmed his number onto the device.

**Sephiroth:**

_ I’ve taken the time to pre programme my own, Angeal and Genesis' number onto the phone. Just in case you cannot contact me in an emergency.  _

He scrunched his nose, having no intentions to ever call Sephiroth’s friends. That fact the silver haired General had added their contact numbers spoke volumes to Cloud and he fought back against that ugly jealousy creeping to the surface, he also felt guilt, and it soured his mood because he resented, just a tiny bit, that Sephiroth had moved on so thoroughly and of course he and Angeal and Genesis had grown closer, having fought a war side by side, he understood the experience would create a bond.

And he still hated hhimself for being jealous. He typed a quick reply as his mood slowly darkened.

_ Thank you for the PHS and the pendent, though you might have chosen a better courier, one that doesn’t help herself to my lunch. _

He pressed send and turned to face Cissnei once again, raising a blond brow, she was still picking at his plate.

“You may as well finish that.” He grumbled pushing the plate towards her as the phs dinged again.

**Sephiroth:**

_ Haha, Cissnei was the best person for the job. I will try to call as soon as I’m able. I have at least three meetings to get through and a mountain of paperwork. _

A smile blossomed on Cloud's face, it had felt so long since he heard Sephiroth’s voice. Considering the General had only recently returned to Midgar from negotiations with Wutai.

_ I’d like that, I’ve missed hearing your voice.  _

Internally the blond groaned as he read the message back, why the hell had he written something like that, it sounded almost like he was a lovesick puppy. Which he wasn’t, although he did really miss his friend and sometimes had to wonder why he’d struggled to move passed living without him around, occasionally causing him to realise this level of separation anxiety wasn’t exactly healthy or normal. 

**Sephiroth:**

_ I apologise for being so unreachable of late, I will try and call you tomorrow.  _

He shut the phs down and stood from the table, leaving the dining hall without bidding the red haired Turk farewell, he had a few hour before he was to meet with Tifa, enough time for the Turk to lose interest in him rather than gain her undivided attention, so far he’d managed to keep his social life outside of the mansion a closely guarded secret.

~~~~

Cloud woke the following morning, his mood dark. He flipped from his back to his stomach and groaned into his pillow, Tifa, had happily informed him that she was leaving Nibelheim, after Master Zangan had finally convinced her father to allow her to enter a martial arts tournament in Midgar, of all places, everyone left him for Midgar. He was irritated by this declaration, though not actually at her, rather at the abandonment that always seemed to befall him. 

Why the fuck did Hojo keep him locked up here? The question burned brightly in his mind, surely he had shown exactly how ready he was to be transferred to Midgar and entered into the SOLDIER program, at least if that were to happen, he would be with Sephiroth, no longer alone and he’d ensure he visit Tifa, as much as possible, during her stay. 

All it came down to, in the end, was convincing Hojo and though Cloud clearly held no power or sway over the spectacled man, he knew of only one person who might, Daley. If he could convince Hojo’s second in command of his worth then perhaps Daley would plead his case to his superior prompting Cloud’s transfer into the SOLDIER program.

He chewed his bottom lip, contemplating his next decision. With an irritated growl he pushed himself up from the bed, first he needed to shower and dress, he might skip breakfast and head straight to Daley’s office, well, Hojo’s office really, but Daley used it in the other man's absence. Cloud was going to wait for his arrival and demand to know why he was being kept here, and damn it he’d cause such a fuss Daley would be wishing to be rid of him.

Twenty minutes later Cloud strolled from his room, his expression pinched as he headed along the hall, dodging the various staff members rushing passed, they eyed him warily but otherwise paid him no heed, no one stopped him on his way to Daley’s office, he saw nothing of Eckles or Knox and thankfully no sign of Cissnei, though he often wondered where the Turks disappeared to in the mansion, she wasn’t the only Turk to wander the halls. Over the years he’d met a few of them, a tall, lanky and frankly loud redhead named Reno, who, for the most part wasn’t so bad. His partner often accompanied him and was the complete opposite, he was broad and muscular, with no hair and a quiet disposition, Cloud strained for his name, Rude, yes Reno and Rude. He actually chuckled to himself, their names worked well together. Another Turk he’d met was a small, blond named Elena and he got the distinct impression she was a newer member of the Turks, she didn’t have the kind of confidence Reno, Rude and Cissnei displayed.

Finally he stood before the office door and knocked loudly, waited for what seemed like hours before he tentatively pushed down on the handle, opening the door enough to peek inside and realise Daley wasn’t there, the room was dimly lit with the glow of surveillance screens lining the side wall, each screen showing the numerous lab rooms from the mansion, including the lower levels, Cloud shuddered averting his eyes as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

The hum of the surveillance screens was loud in his ears as he crept around the desk, to his eyes it seemed Daley hadn’t been in the office since sometime yesterday. The computer on the desk on standby as he sat his leather chair, the clutter, of folders and papers and books that usually lay scattered across Hojo’s desk was organised, neat and tidy, his fingers brushed the mousepad of the computer and the screen came to life, his own profile staring back at him.

He blinked, it took him a few seconds to register what he was seeing, his profile information was listed below his picture. Age, height, weight.his fingers twitched to the keyboard and he scrolled down the page. 

He read through reports written up of his last few training exercises and the result of his test, Daley had written up his observations. Some were daily and even hourly observations, his response to recents treatments was also documented.

He scrolled through page upon page of data collected on him, blinking when he found a report detailing his behaviour during a test he’d almost forgotten about, he remembered it had been the last time he and Sephiroth had fought together, the silver haired boy having left for Midgar soon after.

**_Interesting to note specimen C’s reaction to Specimen Strife, it appeared specimen Strife exhibited momentary cognitive functions pertaining to memory, observing the footage back, the creature acted in an almost maternal manner toward Specimen C. Also observed was Subject C’s hesitance in harming the creature, an oversight perhaps on the strength of maternal bonds between parent and child. . ._ **

The blond blinked in confusion,  _ maternal bonds, parent and child?  _ He shrank the open file down and clicked the search bar, typing in Specimen Strife and waited for the search results.

His PHS rang the sound shrill as the search results flashed on screen, he clicked the file and was greeted with a photo of a young blond haired woman. The insistent ringing cut through his daze and he absently answered, his eyes glued to the image, drinking in the image of a woman whose features held a strong resemblance to his own.

  
  


“Cloud, apologises, I had a few things I had to manage.” Sephiroth’s voice dimmed to back ground noise as Cloud soaked in the words on the screen. His heart beating violently in his chest.

  
  


**_Specimen Strife_ **

**_Name: Claudia Strife,_ **

**_Age: 27_ **

**_Height: 162cm_ **

**_Subjects' mutations began several days following extreme blood loss during labour, and was moved to a lower laboratory for the child’s own safety after the subject began exhibiting signs of distress to hearing specimens C’s cries._ **

“I’m going to have to call you back Seph, something came up.”he didn’t wait for the man's reply before ending the call, a sick feeling infurling in his stomach as he scrolled further down and found another image, one he recognised, his face drained of colour.

The creature he’d once left to suffer rather than forfeit his remaining days with Sephiroth stared back at him. And if the information he was reading was indeed correct, this creature was all that remained of the woman who birthed him.

He had ultimately left his own mother to suffer in agony, he recalled the creature's blue eyes, those all too human eyes boring into him as he’d frozen before it, how it had looked at him with almost recognition as if on some deep level whatever remained of the woman remembered her child. His hands began to tremble as he read further discovering the creature, no, his mother’s remains were being stored in the Nibelheim reactor. 

**_Further analysis shows signs of rapid cellular mutations following the encounter with subject’s C and S, relocated to Mt. Nibel reactor to further assess the cellular mutations in a secure environment._ **

He scrubbed at his face, he’d never known his mother, but he felt a surge of disgust at his own actions, leaving that creature to suffer only for him to then realise it was whatever remained of the woman who’d carried him and birthed him, guilt lay heavy in his chest. 

The damn PHS began to ring again, he snatched it from the desk and answered his voice rough.

“Is everything alright?”Sephiroth sounded concerned. 

Cloud cleared his throat, “yeah, sorry… I can’t really talk at the moment, I promise I’ll call you back soon. . .”it was rude of him, but he hung up again and shut the phone down this time. He needed a few hours to collect his thoughts.

Closing the file on Claudia Strife he reopened the file on himself, leaving the computer as he’d found it and removed himself from the office before Daley returned. He walked the hallways in a daze, barely registering where he was going until he found himself at the lookout.

His blue eyes drifted toward the mountain looming in the distance. 

He wondered if Tifa could direct him to the reactor. If the creature was indeed there and still suffering...wasn’t it his responsibility to offer it a small merciful death, it was the least he could to for the suffering his mother had so clearly endured throughout the years.

——

“yeah, sorry. . .I can't really talk at the moment, I promise I’ll call you back soon. . .” The line went dead again as Cloud hung up on him for a second time, silvery brows drew together in concern and he quickly tried calling his friend once again, his call was forwarded to the answer phone, he’d switched the damn thing off.

His frown deepened as he recalled Clouds tone, distracted and slightly distressed. He scrolled through his contacts looking for Cissnei's number but was interrupted by Genesis.

“We’re approaching Midgar, the President requires a debriefing ASAP. . .impatient ass.”he took a seat beside Sephiroth, as the helicopter began to descend. 

Sephiroth sighed internally torn between calling the Turk to check on Cloud and his duty as General of SOLDIER. Genesis seemed to pick up on his mood and raised a delicate red brow.

“Don’t tell me, worrying about the Clouds?”The man knew him well, both of them did, Genesis and Angeal were his closest friends apart from Cloud, it had taken them years to break down his barriers and read his moods and the fact they do so now, with such ease, wasn’t lost on him.

“He hung up on me, then turned off his PHS. . .he sounded off.”

Genesis chuckled, “such trouble from a little storm Cloud. . .he’ll be fine.” He crossed his legs and withdrew his copy of loveless, settling down for the remainder of the flight. 

“I never tire of these verses.”

“I’m aware.”replied the silver General as he typed a quick message to Cissnei, asking her to check in on Cloud, no doubt for the right price she’d be happy to assist, she’d already landed a small fortune in return for delivering Clouds birthday gifts.

“Sir we are approaching Midgar.” The pilot announced.

  
  


~~~~~

He didn’t waste his time waiting for Tifa instead the blond, fueled by his anger after spending hour dwelling on all he’d learnt, rushed back inside to collect some supplies, namely a weapon, Materia and a basic survival bag packed with everything he’d need as he made his way through the Nibel mountains, he’d spent the last hour staring off toward the Mountain itself that eventually, it almost felt like it was calling him, pulling him forward from his spot on the wall.

The compulsion grew stronger the more he stared until he finally decided to hell with it, he needed to see where Hojo had been keeping the creature that used to be his mother. What other horrors would he find? 

His head began to pound hours later as he pushed on along the treacherous ice slicked paths, winding its way around the mountain side, a gentle flurry of snow began falling from the sky, dusting the frozen path and obscuring his footprints.

The frozen wind howled in his ears carrying with it the distant howling of Nibel wolves, his fingers though gloved, felt frozen as he pushed further on, thankful he hadn’t asked Tifa to join him, the unexpected storm raged on, for once Cloud was thankful for the enhancements his treatments bestowed him.

He had also overlooked the time of day, he realised suddenly with an inward curse, as the sun began to descend behin the mountain, night would soon fall and with the storm building he would have to seek shelter for a few hours. He dipped his head down against the biting gale and trudged onward, always searching the mountain side for a hollow of cavern totake shelter and weather the storm.

An hour later he found himself a little hollow cut into the mountainside a few hours later, darkness had truly fallen, the crest of a quarter moon shone like a be on above. Cloud ducked inside, looking around the small space, he spotted remnants of a fire, a circle of stones filled with a pile of ash, likely left behind by hunters and by a stroke of luck he spotted a pile of dry sticks at the back of the small space. 

Thanking whatever gods were looking down on him, Cloud set to work lighting a small fire to keep the chill at bay. His thoughts lingering on everything he’d recently discovered, the truth behind Hojo’s intervention in their lives? Thinking clearer now, Cloud should have had the foresight to check Sephiroth’s file, too late now, but he had to wonder why Shinra had allowed a madman custody of two children and free reign to do all manner of cruelties to them, was it really only weaponised soliders they wanted?

Was there more to these treatments Hojo had continuously ensured they undergo?

What exactly was in the treatments Hojo had administered them since childhood, besides Mako? 

He had so many new questions forming in his mind and no answers, it was frustrating beyond belief. He nodded off briefly as the fires warmth lulled him, and when he awoke to howls of Nibel wolves his heart hammered in his chest, seeing the unfamiliar surroundings before recollection dawned and he sighed.

He wasted no time and doused the fire, leaving the hollow to find a few inches of fresh snow layering the path. Double checking he’d repacked all of his equipment he set off.

~~~

The site of the reactor came into view and Cloud stilled, drawing in a deep breath, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was to find once he entered, but he pushed forward and entered nonetheless, climbing the step slowly one at a time.

The thick metal door opened with little pressure, he entered the metallic hallways, the humming of machinery filling his ears, the lights in the hall were dim, casting his shadow about the wall as 

his steps echoed against the grated metal floor beneath his feet.

The hallway opened up into a large chamber, a long stairway led further upwards and to either side of this in rows of four each, was situated large pods aglow with a cold blue light. The hum of machinery running throbbed in his ears and he grit his teeth, forcing one foot forward in front of the other, ascending the metal staircase.

His skin felt clammy as he approached the pods, little windows allowed him to peer inside and what he spied turned the blood in his veins to ice, a deep shudder ran the length of his spine and a hiss escaped past his lips, for within each pod, in some form of stasis lay creatures aglow with Mako, their forms twisted, limbs gnarled. Some looked half frozen mid scream, their skin burned away revealing muscle and sinew and bone. He moved along each row, searching for the creature his motherhood become, but finding no trace at all. 

Was it possible Hojo had moved it somewhere else and the computer system hadn’t been updated? 

He pondered this as he noticed at the top of the stairs was another thick, metal door. Perhaps his mother lay beyond. His legs felt heavy as he ascended the stairs two at a time, his skin clammy and heart thundering against his ribs, this door was harder to force open, at first he thought it jammed but steadily he managed to pry it open a little and from there he got his hands in the gap and forced it open wide enough to fit through. 

He took no notice of the writing above the threshold as he entered the chamber.

~~~

He burned, his whole body inside and out, the only grace was the wet chill soothing the fire spreading through him, he tried to move his limbs but felt paralysed, like he had no control over his own body. 

He needed to move, panic was begining to flood through him as slowly he forced open his eyes and glimpsed his surroundings, apparently he was laying face first on the snow covered ground, the walls of Shinra mansion almost within touching distance, except he still couldn’t gain control of his limbs. 

He frowned trying to recall how he’d gotten here, he didn’t remember leaving the reactor or making the trek back down from Mt. Nibel and yet he must have, because here he was, laying in some form of paralysis on the melting snow. 

He searched his memory but could only recall entering the chamber at the apex of the stairs, after that all his memory was a blank canvas, he could remember nothing between entering the chamber and waking up minutes ago.

What the fuck had happened? 

“Argh.”he groaned, forcing his numb arms under him, a faint tingling shot through his fingers and he waited as it spread through his hands, his arms and up over his shoulder, minutes later he’d managed to force himself into a sitting position though the entirety of his body tingled, pins and needles. 

He glanced at his wrist watch and blinked back in surprise, nine hours had passed since he’d last glanced at the watch face. He’d lost nine hours, with absolutely no idea how he’d ended up back home, his body felt strange and his head pounded furiously but he managed to grit his teeth through the sensation of pins and needles until they passed and he could shakily rise to his feet.

Beads of sweat slipped over his brows as he forced his legs to work and made a slow trek inside the mansion, walking the stairs cost him yet more effort and energy he didn’t seem to possess, but he made it to his room and flopped face down onto his mattress breathing shaking breaths.

He couldn’t fight the exhaustion that overcame him and his eyes slid shut. Unable to undress let alone shower.

He drifted off into a fitful sleep, tomorrow he would figure out what happened.

  
  


To be continued. . . 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud makes a life changing decision and Sephiroth is left at a complete loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it’s been awhile, firstly I’m so very sorry for the long wait, I have recently moved house and it’s been hectic, I had this nearly finished and so quickly concluded the chapter for you guys. 
> 
> Please excuse any errors, there will probably be some, hopefully nothing terrible, I just wanted to get this finished and uploaded for you.
> 
> A huge thanks to you all for the Hits, Kudos, Bookmarks and Comments. It means so much to me.
> 
> Now on with the chapter, I can’t give a time frame for the next update: you’ll have to bare with me I’m afraid.

_ It feels like a tear in my heart _

_ Like a part of me missing _

_ And I just can't feel it _

_ I've tried and I've tried _

_ And I've tried _

Lyrics -can you hold me, by FN.

**Chapter Six**

  
  


He was paralysed in a fear he didn’t understand, terrified of something he couldn’t recall, though he’d tried and tried to dredge the memories he knew must be buried somewhere deep, his fingers curled into a tight fist, nails digging deep into his palms, eyes squeezed tightly closed. Perhaps he should confide in somebody the events that had occurred days ago, his excursion to the reactor. He should, he knew this, but the fear of punishment held his tongue.

The fear of igniting Hojo’s intrigue when Daley made the report. No, he couldn’t trust anyone within the mansion enough with this.

A dark cloud hung over him, pressiing down, suffocating him into a slow painful death. What the fuck had happened to him? Because it wasn’t right, whatever this feeling was...in his chest, crawling over his flesh, in his head, it was a poison, thick and black, a toxicity creeping in his veins and taking hold of him slowly.

For the first time in a long while he felt he might cry, he’d faced such hardships growing up, Hojo’s constant torment, painful treatments, the night terrors that tore him apart, that caused him to question what was dream and reality, such vivid images burned into him, bleeding into his bedroom when he startled awake, his night terrors were not so intense these days, but he could never forget the bone chilling fear.

He felt that now and cursed his own foolishness, Sephiroth was right, he courted trouble. 

A frozen gust of wind blew from the mountains it’s touch refreshing upon his skin, little bumps of goose flesh rose on his arms, that he found almost soothing, the feeling drawing him back to the here and now, to the present and the reason he sat, back against the cold stone wall obscured by the thick trees. 

Tifa wanted to meet today, though he knew in his current state, he shouldn’t have agreed, but like a needy infant, he also craved the comfort of her nearness, her voice, her soft brown eyes, a distraction from the empty void he was losing himself in. She was his anchor right now, through the years of loneliness it had been her that kept him floating, rather than drowning. 

He spotted her from a distance, her shapely form, the veil of brown hair blowing wild in the wind, her cheeks slightly flushed as she clutched the fur lined jacket tighter around herself, brown eyes spotting him against the wall. She hurried her steps, reaching him a few moments later, a flicker of concern before it was gone and she faced him with a frown.

“Cloud?”her voice was loaded with worry. He wondered what she saw, how did he look to her, knees drawn to his chest? 

Her pale hand shook, reaching out heaistently before freezing above his shoulder, she knew unwanted touches caused him to flinch, every encounter they’d had with contact had been initiated on Cloud’s terms, today felt like a bad day for him, his skin sickly, dark smudges beneath his eyes...and those eyes, startlingly blue though today the green seemed dominant.

She let her hand fall and kneeled to his level, her voice soft as she called his attention again, so slowly his chin lifted, he met her gaze with little shine in those eyes, a shadow of something ominously dark rippled there, momentarily, then he blinked and it vanished and she wasn’t sure if she’d seen it at all.

She gnawed her bottom lip, next week she was leaving for Midgar, the tournament Master Zangan had entered her into started in a few weeks, she was so excited to test her skills and prowess, to put her years of training to the test, if she was lucky she might even win, the prize money would start a nest egg toward renting a space for her own training facility, for the children, for anyone who wanted to learn. 

It was a dream, a goal she’d envisioned long ago, to keep her focused, anchored as she pushed and pushed herself through rigorous training, knocked through the mental walls, when she thought she couldn’t possibly push herself further. It was the silver lining for her, after working so hard to change her life, do something for herself, follow her own passion and break free of this town. 

“I did something stupid Tifa.”he sounded so small, frightened, it tore at her heart. It hammered home how vulnerable the boy was, he wore the face of a confidant, aloofness, but beneath it all...she knew, he was just a victim though he rarely showed that side of himself, except after those god awful treatments.

When she’d seen him suffering the after effect of them, after she did all she could to ease his pain, often she’d return home and cry, great heaving sobs, her heart broke because no matter how many times she tried to talk to an adult, explain that Cloud wasn’t safe, it’d fall on deft ears, they didn’t interfere with ShinRa business and so Cloud was of little concern.

It sickened her, but she understood their fear to a degree. ShinRa had the power to give and the power to take away from this little town in the mountains, so closed off from the world, in the end they were reliant on the reactor for ease of survival. 

“Tell me.”she encouraged moving to sit as close to him as was comfortable. 

She listened attentively as he relayed the events of his excursion to the Mako reactor, every detail he could recall and everything he could not, had struggled with the last few days: the sudden exhaustion beating down on him, the memory lapse, how he felt separated from himself at times, like he was there and yet not at the same moment. The sudden feeling of foreboding deep in the pit of his stomach.

He almost asked her if this feeling was insanity, but he held his tongue unwilling to disturb the girl further.

“I feel…”he closed his eyes, pinched his nose “...almost, as if I died, at least a part of me, I can’t explain it.”his head fell back against the wall, the small thud of his skull hitting brick didn’t seem to bother him, but then he’d endured pain on torturous levels since he could remember, it was little more than a bump in comparison.

“I’m not the same person that I was, before I entered that place…”he spoke with such surety she knew he believed it to be true and believed him, she’d seen that flicker of darkness in his gaze, it was something other, something that Cloud wasn’t, a vicious cruelty laying in wait.

If he stayed here, without a doubt she knew it’s fester until the person she knew withered away into something twisted, he needed to leave this place and she couldn’t leave him here, knowing, on some deep level instinct, that something hovered around her friend, he’d suffered abandon once before, in a sense and she knew he’d felt that pain like a noose, everyday.

“Let’s leave this place, together.”perhaps it sounded like a romantic dream, running away from his horrors, she felt resolutely this was the path he needed to take, leave with her for Midgar, they could find ways to hide him from ShinRa, though why would they be looking in their own backyard, their eyes would be here once they realised he was missing, there would be no reason for them to believe he’d escaped only to walk into the lion's den.

Hiding in plain sight, right under their nose. Master Zangan would surely help her hide him, they could think of a way to hide the clear distinctions of his appearance, as to give him a taste of life beyond the walls of Shinra mansion, of his torment and this frozen town.

“What are you talking about?”confusion laced his tone, his eyes meeting hers once again. 

She took a moment of pause, to collect her thoughts, “come with me to Midgar, because I can’t bear to leave you here to suffer…''she blinked back gathering wetness in her eyes. As her emotions began to rule her. 

A small smile pulled at his lips, it truly lifted his spirits slightly that she cared, her eyes shone, so expressive with her worry thatcher suddenly felt wretched, because he couldn’t he couldn’t her, it was a sad truth, he couldn’t leave, he knew nothing else save this place, and he was waiting, ever waiting for Hojo to finally be satisfied so he could show the man, all his worth. 

_ But why so obliged to a man who holds no value to your worth.  _ The thought struck with such force he froze, unsure where it had come from, because he did feel this strange obligation to Hojo, he just didn’t know why, after all the man had been nothing but cruel to him since he could remember, and yet he submitted, time and again in a vain hope to almost please the sadistic man.

He realised his view was all kinds of fucked up, but could he set aside those feelings, predominant as they were, could he simply say yes, leave the only place he’d ever known? The safety of the mansion walls and the surrounding mountains of forests?

The thought was terrifying.

Could he forsake Hojo’s shadow and ShinRa’s ownership over him? 

He felt the answer resound deep within his marrow, resolute.

_ Yes, he could try. _

~~~~~

With Tifa returned to the village, Cloud found time to sit at the lookout and consider the options before him, firstly he needed to covertly pack himself a travel bag, the few possessions he possessed were precious and he would not leave them behind. His Chocobo keychain from Seph, even though he cursed the silver haired boy, he recalled the little note  _ this keychain made me think of you.  _ Well, ha-ha-ha, he thought darkly. Still he fought the smile, Sephiroth very rarely allowed his humour to shine through.

He pushed his hair away from his eyes, his gaze sliding back to Mt Nibel, he deeply regretted his decision to explore the reactor. He shook his head and the thoughts away, too long had he tried to force his memories to the surface, he would stand only to drive himself insane to continue doing so.

“Well, here you are.”Cissnei’s voice rang out from behind, he frowned, annoyed with his lacking awareness, his focus slipping enough for her to sneak up on him.

“What do you want, Cissnei?” His tone, bored, as he stared toward the mountain. If Cissnei noticed the gloom surrounding his mood, she made no mention of it.

“A fine welcome, as always... I actually just came to say goodbye.”her tone, light, airy and her eyes twinkling, she exuded such energy as she climbed up to sit beside him, her legs dangling over the wall. 

“Oh…”

“Uh-huh, back to grind...it’s so peaceful here, I see why you like it.”Cissnei’s looked out toward the open forest, a wistful sigh as if she’d miss such beauty when she left, he supposed she would, Midgar was barren, devoid of nature’s touch.

_ All will wither and die,  _ the thought struck him with a slicing pain, as the view morphed into monochrome with the trees lifeless, burning husks under a flaming sky, the green and lustrous forest a dead thing, the land barren, devoid of even a glimmer, he could almost taste ash in the hot putrid air. 

He blinked, heart thrumming madly but his vision cleared, the forest and mountain the same as it had been moments ago,thrumming with life. 

“What did you say?”

What? He turned his head toward her, slowly, confusion contorting his face. Had he spoken aloud? He frowned.

“What?”

“You spoke…”she shook her head, though suspicion lined her narrowed eyes as she watched him, silently. “I thought...nevermind.”

“I didn’t say anything.”the words tumbled from him, quickly,  _ I don’t remember speaking, _ he added silently. His head began to throb with the beginnings of a headache and he massaged his temples.

Cissnei opened her mouth to speak, but the shrill beeping of her phone interrupted and she scrambled to answer, as she did so, Cloud slid down and slipped away lost in a sea of confusion.

~~~

Cloud stood beneath the thicket of trees, pacing against the wall, his hold-all a short distance away, he was waiting for Tifa and Master Zagan’ signal, it was still dark because of the early hour, the mansion was, thankfully still silent and he’d already taken precautions: stuffing pillows into his bed and shaping them as best he could, to give the allusion of his body tucked beneath the covers. from a distance, it should suffice, though he knew as soon as someone edged closer they would realise.

Anxiety rippled off him in waves, every few minutes he would pause his pacing, draw in a deep breath, palm his hair and begin the sequence again. Second thought echoed in his mind, a deep rooted fear snarling at him, he wasn’t sure he could do this, what chain of events would his disappearance cause? 

Though he hated them, ShinRa, Hojo and all those named and nameless personnel involved in his upbringing, yes, he deeply hated them but it was all he knew, a safety net of routine. He chewed on his bottom lip, his limbs trembling, barely swimming in his apprehension as he waited and waited and waited.

The seconds, minutes maybe hours ticked by as his distress threatened to tear him in two, then Suddenly Tifa was calling him in harsh whispers, a torch in her grasp, blinding him in its brightness, she tugged him gently from his frozen panic, guiding him along after her, he hadn’t even noticed her collecting his bag. 

“We have a van, there’s space in the back, you won’t be seen.”she smiled in the torchlight, he followed her mutely, unable to air his conflicting thoughts, he couldn’t, he felt a sickness in his stomach, with a final glance at his ‘home’, blue eyes drinking in the details, revelling in the memories, the goods ones of himself and Sephiroth, their secret adventure games, though awkward at first, because they’d had no idea what to do, had been a welcome and fun reprieve in the end.

With a deep breath he ducked through the open door, Master Zangan offering a knowing look, as if he knew the conflict bubbling within his chest. Once seated inside, Cloud clutched his bag tightly against his chest, closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

“Are you okay?”Zangan’ deep voice rumbled from the front of the vehicle.

Was he alright? He wasn’t sure the answer was as black and white as a simple yes or no, on one hand excitement licked at his insides for whatever awaited him in the unknown, given the change and his ability to go unnoticed by Shinra, perhaps he could experience living as he’d never known it. Not hidden within the confines of Shinra mansion, but free to go wherever he wished.

And, on the opposing hand, he was deathly afraid of the unknown, the security provided by ShinRa and the mansion, he despaired the notion of never seeing or at least being able to interact with his lifelong silver haired friend, because how could he while on the run, Sephiroth had an obligation of duty to ShinRa to bring him in, capture him should Cloud ever deign to contact him. 

_ Like he ever cared, he left you, didn’t visit, abandoned you.  _ He rubbed his temple willing himself to shut the awful thoughts away, the vehicle lurched forward, the noisy engine rumbling in the stillness and Clouds stomach rolled with the sudden movement, nauseated by the motions. He breathed through the sensation of hurling up his dinner, and realised he hadn’t yet answered Zangan’ question.

In a quiet voice he replied, sounding surer than he actually felt.

“No, but I will be.”

~~~~

A boardroom in the upper levels of the Shinra building currently housed a meeting of departments, prevalent was Hojo representing the science division and Tseng , leader of the Turks, otherwise known as the internal and intelligence affairs, to the public eyes of course, to Tsend’s right, one of his agents Cissnei sat patiently, face perfectly blank. Lazzard, Director of Soldier was also present as well as his Genera, Sephiroth and two First class SOLDIER commanders Genesis and Angeal. 

President Shinra sat at the head of the oval table, his sharp eyes trailing over each person present, his black hair slick back, Sephiroth observed each member with quiet contemplation wondering what urgency had arisen that required three of ShinRa’s department to come together with such urgency.

A projection screen along the back wall flickered to life at the click of a button, Hojo cleared his throat and Sephiroth was surprised to see Daley appear, joining the meeting from Hojo’s Nibelheim office. A sinking feeling twisting in his guts, he had a strange sense that this involved Cloud to some degree though he couldn’t explain why he thought that.

“I’ll get right to the point, we have a few security breaches.”Tseng remained cool, aloof as he clicked a button on the remote in his hand, the screen with Daley shrank to one corner while another image, security footage, it seemed to possess up on the large screen. 

“Approximately eight days ago, Nibelheim reactor was breached, one specimen contained within were partially damaged and a second destroyed.”

“Security cameras didn’t capture the culprit?”Genesis asked, lifting a brow, “I assume, as with all reactors, security cameras were present.”

“It seems some kind of electromagnetic pulse took down security cameras, we have nothing in regards to the intruders identity, however...it does lead us to the second incident.”Tseng stepped aside in two neat steps as Hojo stood from his seat, his dark eyes lingering on Sephiroth.

“When was the last time you spoke with Specimen C?”dark eyes capture green, Hojo’s expression perfectly masked as yet Sephiroth could read the silent message there, if he didn’t reveal what he knew, the man would make his next appointment extremely miserable. Hojo was angry...no, worse than that, the Professor was livid.

Cloud had done something, utterly overstepped, likely without realisation.

The atmosphere tensed and Sephiroth sensed more than saw, as his fellows around the table fidgeted uncomfortably, except for President Shinra who seemed eager to hear what he’d say.

The silver General cleared his throat and understood immediately where Hojo’s thoughts were when it dawned on him exactly how many days had passed since his last communication with Cloud.

“Eight days ago.”

Dark eyes narrowed, “and how disbar seems to you?”

Oh, how Sephiroth wanted to lie, his hands curled to fists, but under the scrutiny of Hojo, Lazard, Tseng and the President, the sense of blind duty drilled into him kicked in on automatic.

“He seemed agitated, hurried, perhaps distressed.”He fought to keep his gaze locked ahead rather than glance toward Cissnei, he’d asked her to check on Cloud and whether she had remained to be seen, she hadn’t yet come back to him. 

Tseng’s calm voice addressed his agent, “Cissnei, when you last made contact with Cloud, how did he seem to you?”

She hesitated for a fraction of a second, unnoticed by Hojo, Lazard and the President it seemed though Sephiroth noted Taeng’s gaze longer upon her longer than necessary and he was almost certain at Genesis wouldn’t miss the hesitation, Angeal seemed to have his gaze focused on the projection screen.

“He seemed his usual self...however, there was a moment..one instance where he acted out of character.”

Hojo turned his head, to face the young woman. “How so?”

Hesitant Cissnei continued, “I found him at the lookout, his favourite spot overlooking the mountains and Nibelheim town, he seemed distant, distracted...we spoke briefly quite normally until,”she paused with a quick glance toward the General. “He spoke very out of character, his voice was...not right and he seemed unaware of speaking when I questioned him on it...I didn’t really catch what he said unfortunately.”

Hojo gathered the attention of the room once again, pacing back and forth before the screen, as Daley came into view once more.

“Professor what does this mean exactly?”demanded President ShinRa sitting straighter.

“It means Subject C May be defecting, from recent reports his behaviour had been questionable, unpredictable…”

“What exactly are you implying, professor _?” _ Sephiroth eyes the man who’d brought them up, he and Cloud, his temper sparking because he knows deep down what Hojo is saying, Tseng knows it too.

Hojo leers at the General, “Subject C should be apprehended as soon as possible or he’s to be terminated.”it’s takes a great deal of effort for Sephiroth to tamper down his rage at Hojo’s words.

Later when the meeting has been adjourned both Genesis and Angeal watch with weariness as their General paces, for hours, utterly silent.

The revelations revolved around Cloud having left him emotionally raw, leaving him lax for the course of action he could take to ensure Cloud was found and brought back to Shinra HQ, alive and unharmed.

He needed to first figure out where Cloud would go.

Had he left Nibelheim at all?

To be continued...


End file.
